Maybe I'm dreaming.

Of the Final Entry

2010-04-04T23:00:00.001+08:00

TUMBLR.

everyday is black

Of Brick by Boring Brick

2010-03-18T01:17:00.011+08:00

edit: OMG DAMN E***************8ING PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111 All the expletives are coagulating and exploding simultaneously in my mind now. DO YOUR OWN LESSON PLAN AND STOP STEALING MINE!! NOT FOR OBSERVATION RIGHT OMG >>>:(((((((((
-

I am up to my eyebrows with work! Lesson plans, task cards, powerpoint slides, notes, assignments, experiments, tests.

ooh emm gee. okay so quit whining and note to self: get away from general preoccupation with idling away time by reading, HBO-ing, napping and pay more heed to impending doom.

Been feeling extremely irritated with the glaring absence of (green) tea in the house. Frazzled nerves have inevitably led to a meltdown of me scouring through dark dingy corners of kitchen cabinets in a valiant attempt to uncover any speck of tea. I am so gonna crawl to the supermarket tomorrow and buy their entire stock of green tea to make a fort. Since practicum started, I've come to discover that all woes of the world can be solved with some good green tea. Try!

oh and in the midst of all the biology helter skelter, we had some laugh over retarded stuff. So I was teaching the girls on the type of carbohydrates that day and this is:

monosacharrides (one sugar)

this is disacharrides (two sugar)

And suddenly the class spewed into chuckles. I was like.. hello?? what? justin bieber came to school ah? guess what. To the girls, disacharrides look like a penis with blue balls. HAHAHAHA cannot help but laugh too! Thrills of being a growing teenage girl.

Do you get that feeling when some days you wake up and immediately start to worry? Like nothing in particular is wrong but it's just the suspicion that the dark forces are aligning quietly and there will be trouble?

Recently.. I do. horrors!

Thursdays are green

Of the Abbot and the Flea

2010-03-04T20:15:00.005+08:00

For the lack of a more meaningful entry, here's an extract..

An abbot once caught a flea. Said the abbot, "Now I've got you! You've bitten me many times, making it impossible for me to get a good night's sleep. I will never let you go. In fact, I'm going to kill you right now!"

The flea replied, "Holy father, since you intend to kill me, please hold me in the palm of your hand so that I can freely confess my sins to you. Let me make my confession and you can kill me."

The abbot was moved by the flea's piety by the flea's piety so he placed the insect in the middle of his palm. The flea immediately leaped up in the air and jumped away. The abbot yelled loudly at the flea, but he refused to come back.

Familiar much Yao ZZ? hahahahaha days were the those. And note to self after read: "gotta be mean to keep them clean!"

sigh so planet life has been orbiting around school, school and more school. It's a sick routine and yours truly have grasp complete comprehension of the underlying meaning behind the phrase "TEACHERS HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE (during weekdays)". I guess the only thing that is (remotely) interesting about my life is the fact that I cycle to school every Monday and Thursday. And because it's a habit to indicate the direction when making a turn while driving, it became a subconcious effort while cycling too and I find myself raising the brakes like the indicator stick whenever I turn. Retarded or what.

Oh and PE peeps, do not hang your thumbdrive on your lanyard together with your whistle because both of them feels the same and you wouldn't know what you are grabbing. I think you can imagine what I blew.

On an extremely random note, I remember in my younger and more vulnerable years my gramps gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind recently.

'Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,' he told me, 'just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages you've had.'

Short term goal.

Thursday are green

Of the Begining of an End

2010-02-21T00:19:00.004+08:00

edit: OMG A TRIZILLION THINGS TO DO FOR 10 BUSY WEEKS SOMEBODY CALL 911! thank god for the hockers today.

End of school.. Begining of school. I think I should start perishing thoughts of being able to sleep for the rest of the next ten weeks. My timetimble is so EPIC that even caps lock won't do enough justice for emphasis. SO DAMN EPIC.

And this is Practicum for you. Ten weeks of countdown! So goodbye late nights, hello early mornings. zzzzz wish me luck.

greatest accomplishment of 2010:)
and I cannot do it without you. WE WILL SURVIVE bbD!

Sundays are indigo

Of Buying and Throwing

2010-02-06T16:33:00.009+08:00

Less to laugh. Less to fight. Less to live.

So hurry back cause I miss you like coffee is to bean!

And if you don't already know.. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is out! And if you really don't already know, it's Heath Ledger's final piece of work. Tragically, he passed on midway before the film was completed hence the director roped in both Jude Law and Johnny Depp (w00ts) to finish the production. Like omg. I can totally stare at double J until the retinas burst and much more to boot, there's deep, dark and sexy Ledger too! swoons and dashes to the ticketing booth.

Anyway this picture is so heart-breaking my heartstrings are kinda pulled apart by their uncanny resemblance:(

And on a very random note, I am suddenly seized by a senseless panic as to what I should do about my future. Okay maybe not that senseless considering how much emphasis is placed upon a tangible achievement in life these days. Like I just want to run away and escape the inevitability of growing up and growing old because it translates to increasing responsibilites and decreasing fun.

Today I was also gripped by an imminent fear that I am degenerating into a useless lump of turd on the sheer basis that I have yet to actually actively begin doing my assignments. But I guess I have to attribute it to the mindset I have been brought up with where my existence has purpose only when it senses some sort of monetary reward for human activity of any kind. I resolve to be less bothered over the fact that my bank account is turning into the sahara desert and instead focus on the mammoth amount of knowledge I am amassing from the copious numbers of backdated national geographic books that I've dug out. Yes. This arsenal of knowledge is going to catapult me to the heights of the bourgeoise and I can bid farewell to a life of MOE-slavery. Totally man. I am sure my potential principal will be impressed if I speak to him in tribals and name him the most recently endangered species.

Lastly, to the boy next door who donated today's heading..

Keep searching, keep finding and one day you might just find yourself buying and keeping because the person's a keeper. In the meantime, don't settle for less. Aim big, start small!

xoxo your friendly neighbourhood friend.

Saturdays are indigo

Of a Champagne Supernova

2010-02-01T11:59:00.007+08:00

Don't patronize, don't feed me lines

Just change your ways make it right

It's such a dirty mess imperfect at it's best but it's

My love my love my bloody valentine

gosh this song is ringing in my head like a virus!

So last week this time I was feeling all eggcited and jittery for the IVP finals later that night and today, right now, I'm yawning my way through the murderous 3-hour bio lecture. help. And to kill the monday blues, I want something like THIS.

yum yum yummmmmmm

Okay digress. Rewind back to last monday where it's prolly imprinted as one of the most remarkable days one can proudly hold close to the heart. I guess it was pretty much a roller coaster ride through the IVP period as we experience thrilling highs and plunging lows together as an entity. The beads of persipiration shed, seas of gripping lactic acid experienced, obsenities muttered to oneself when underperforming, competition insecurities/uncertainities felt and overcomed.. these moments are priceless.

This season also opened my eyes to various personalities- in very subtle ways and also in very rude forms. But on the whole I felt that it was a worthwhile ride with the rest of the team, especially so at the very moment when Tiong lifted the prestigous blob of metal. But I have learnt to stop breathing as soon as this feeling of euphoria settles over me because most feelings come with a limit or an expiry date. Special thanks to the very cute and animated coach, the super supportive and sometimes naggy team manager and all the superhero ultrawoman teammates. It was good while it lasted:)

(and a big thank you to those who came down.. love you all deep deep to the end of the ocean bed in the south china sea!)

And on a new year note, I wish for life to be simpler but at the same time never want to stop feeling. Years and people pass by too quickly these days. So many wants, so little time. Living is a difficulty we never seem to be rid of. But every perfunctory new year is a reminder that time can still in ways be defined by us alone and is only mnemonic in the way we wish it to. We can choose to be disdainful or perhaps for a few minutes be hopeful that the coming CNY glosses over the past and is a blank slate in its own right. Most importantly, my bank account is depleting like the amazon forest and tis' the season to be money. (Y)

Have you met your snoopy today?

Mondays are red

Of a Ride on the Disco Stick

2010-01-12T12:23:00.004+08:00

Blair: Whatever you're going through, I wanna be there for you.
Chuck: We've talked about this. You're not my girlfriend.
Blair: But I am me. And you are you. We're Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had, I will stand by you through anything.
-

Too many issues to address, too little energy to do. I guess all that matters is the fact that one is truthful in the past, happy at the present and excited for the future. I always do what I like and I will continue being myself because regret is one of the worst feeling in the world, the other being loss. Both entities are irreverisble therefore I make it a point in my two decades of existance to not experience either if I can.

On an unrelated note, IVP has commenced! Friends, roman and countrymen.. please come down and lend your lungs for the NTU team because it's gonna be a highly adrenaline-packed season! There can only be more room for improvement and less time to mope over mistakes. Looking forward to the rest of the games already wheee.

And because I'm bored stiff in lecture now, here's some ragetoon to lighten up the dawn of the dead classroom setting.

shit happens

expect the unexpected

shit happens again

nom nom nom

shit really happens

SO TRUE OKAY

and my all time favourite!

And to end off this random entry, here's 2010 fidelity guide to the jungle: a lion would never cheat on his wife, but a tiger wood.

roar!

Tuesdays are orange

Of Summing it Up

2010-01-05T14:11:00.005+08:00

edit: it's amazing how things can change within the span of one day. i'm beyond words.. you failed to make me laugh today. big time.
-
Everyone has three types of life.

Public life..

(you are who you are)

Private life.. (cannot agree more)

And social life.

(life is short. chill!)

I have too many words caught in my mind right now. But I guess I'll just leave it to something someone ~~wise~~ said.. DPDP.

different people, different perspective. (Y)

Tuesdays are orange

Of the Day after Yesterday

2009-12-31T17:47:00.009+08:00

500 Days of S..

Tom: We don’t have to label what we’re doing. I just… I need some consistency. I need to know you won’t wake up tomorrow and feel a different way.
Summer: I can’t promise you that. Nobody can. Anyone who does is a liar.

Tom: Why didn’t you tell me about him?

Summer: Well, he hadn’t proposed yet.

Tom: But you should’ve told me there was someone in your life!

Summer: Well..

Tom: Then why did you dance with me?

Summer: Because I wanted to!

Tom: So you just do whatever you feel like doing?

...still the best 2009 movie!

So the past few weeks have been insanely hectic and I can barely take a breather to really sit down and chillax at home. Like time whizzes by so quickly and suddenly I find myself living the last day of 2009. Along with the majority, it's time to look back for some reflection.

This year taught me that words are like loaded pistols. Either you choose to get shot and have your dolly head blown off or you choose to load your pistol carefully and spare everyone the bloodshed. Words are lethal so practice caution on what to say and who to say to because you never know the consequences they carry. Applies to you, to me and to everyone else.

On a brighter note, 2009 saw me finding myself amongst those people I love, people whom I have spent years unravelling only to realise what lies within them is immense, confounding and beautiful. I am comforted by the familiarity of these faces, memorized across time and heartaches. I am lulled into the embrace of our many conversations and the quiet moments that settle over us. I am thankful for the god-sents and I know they will always be there, for now and till eternity.

This year, I also think I have found something which I cannot describe. Its not placid yet somehow I feel settled, less frazzled. I still want to meet new people, still want to live intensely, still want to feel like I am at the brink of explosion. But now, I would like to think I will be less self-destructive and more discerning. My thoughts are always in a mess, they fumble around my life along with me, always seeking to mould into something that can sit well with where I am. They change between seconds and sentences striking me down with my own contradictions, plaguing me with a warped sense of guilt. Like I always do what I like/want at that moment in time and not give a shite about everything else (okay this habit should change). But right now it doesn't matter because I know I am still coming to terms with myself and if my principles do change, I know there will come a day where I will be certain why and what it should be.

I don't do resolutions but the hazy guidelines I have in my head and heart can suffice for now..

Don't think, just do. Live IN the moment.

And finally I toast to a brand new year which evaporates all the words left unsaid, feelings unreciprocrated, diasspointments unexplained and condenses all the possible permuations of contentment that brings happiness to a whole new definition.

HAPPY TWO OH ONE OH EVERYONE! kisskissbangbang:)

Thursdays are green

Of Murphy's Favourite Law

2009-12-22T14:47:00.008+08:00

I think the basis of our sanity lies in our ability to demarcate, to draw boundaries just so we can segregate the past from the present, the real from the unreal, the right from the wrong. All these crazy headlong collisions only occur within the confines of our own space-time dimensions and may only be true to ourselves and no one else. Just when we think that everything's okay, something bad HAD to happen. The multitude of consequences that reside in my mind tires me the minute I wake up. I feel like I am losing coherence in thought and words. Anxiety taking over.. sigh. Thank god for you.

I really pray with all my heart that everything will turn out fine? It would be the best xmas present for me this year:(

On a lighter note, I shall make an extra conscious effort to not go to town for the following weekends of my life. like seriously? I swear there is an overpopulation problem, we need to ship some people off to Africa. Best would be to ship all the irritants and the 'intellectuals' from school which coincidentally happen to be the same group of people. snorts.

And on the lightest note, I need to workout intensively. IVP's barely 3 weeks away! Need to get fitness and form back. PRONTO.

p/s six chicks: I DONT WANT YOUR PRESENTS!! simi bangles. faints

Tuesdays are orange

Of the Sweetest Thing in the Universe

2009-12-12T23:17:00.000+08:00

and

then

suddenlybutandsoasbecause xoxo. you're the sweetest person ever. but i just can't... not now. sorry:(

Saturdays are indigo

Of the Last Five Seconds

2009-12-11T00:01:00.008+08:00

"If you love something, let it go.
If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, move on.."
-

all you needed to do was to tell me that you're worth it. or... burst it.
(back from camp! to be continued when I'm more alive)

Fridays are blue

Of a Cold and Frosty Morning

2009-12-07T05:17:00.013+08:00

"When it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need." -Greys.

Today feels like insomia and tomorrow... never comes. :'(
-

November came and went by so fast.

Recently, there is an inconsequential question bubbling up my throat. My heart beats a second before my mind and I feel myself racing ahead of my thoughts. Like there's this void where we can exist in for about an hour, or two or three. I think someone should just do me a favour and cut the train of thought right through its gut and disembowel its contents such that its intent becomes obvious and transparent (to me).
porkface, please don't choose diary farm. I will be the saddest girl on earth:(
That aside, I am leaving for some weirdass camp! Don't know what to expect and don't want to know what to expect. I just hope it doesn't bore me to death such that when I look back, there's only talks talks talks and more talks? Less talk more action please. prays. I also hope there's like some kinda bejeweled activities (think shifting human in triangles, squares, hypercube blast all) in the camp so I can team with fatass and win! hahahaha okay actually that was what happened in my dream last night. so note to self: stop playing bejweled already!

Well on a very random note, the heart always wants what the hearts wants. So even if you have a better head, you will find yourself trapped within the clutches of the heart. I cannot deal with the confusion right now but at the same time I also don't want to accept the fact that everything which one holds close to the heart, lips and mind at this very moment will cease to matter some day too soon.. but just for tonight, I would pause the entire world just so an eternity is within grasp.
between you, me, and the seven hours.
Time to scoot so goodnight world. see ya when I see ya!

Sundays are violet

Of Little by Little

2009-11-29T23:29:00.010+08:00

since you went away, my heart breaks everyday.

OMG I LURVE THIS SONG!! <3

(kinda reminds me of a particular song)
-

How did I become so obnoxious?

What is it with you that makes me act like this?

I've never been this nasty

Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?

The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest

Pink is the next awesome! After lady gaga.
-

Sigh to bum time coming to a close./! Where the indecision of punctuation mirrors my conflicting emotions towards the end of my last two weeks of imposed idleness. Time to work out, get into shape and look forward to trainings!

Double sigh to only one last semester of the academia left before heading out to battle the frightening prospects of meager income and tremendous workload that would mean a continued pitiful existence sans fun sans just about everything.

Triple sigh to current thoughts that I live in the in betweens -of being young yet old, happy yet miserable, hopeful yet nostalgic. This pervasive limbo is an unusual cyclone that consumes my life and disjoints reality from self. Like the entire world wants to be depressed without really comprehending the awful emptiness that accompanies the condition. Everyone pities themselves to concoct a perception that they have an absolute right to dwell in their miserable circumstance. I force myself to take a reality check every day to agree that I've got much more in life to be thankful for rather than get depressed over this train of weirdass thoughts which boils down to..

a thin line between- indifference | in denial.

happy double two porkface.. i remembered.
Sundays are violet

Of Time for Miracles

2009-11-26T17:49:00.005+08:00

red nano is love:)

And for those who are watching the 9pm show..

OUT with this!

why must pop eyes and tilt head:/

And IN with this!

How many people can pull off the mickey mouse thingy you tell me. Really wanna jump into the screen and kidnap him back? gosh what a stark contrast with respect to hamster voice. okay that was damn random but yea.. chen han wei is mother funny in the show I really love his hair hahahaha.

On a more random note, NEW MOON is out! I heard the plot and graphics are way better than the first but I still go with becks- Kristen Stewart can't act for nuts. snorts

Okay I totally need to start reading/watching/ingesting witty stuff because I feel intellectually-deprived (not that there's alot to begin with), and of late, I also feel extremely lazy and unmotivated because everyone else is having exams I have no one to disturb! RAR-rah-ah-ah-ah roma-roma-mama ga-ga-ooh-la-la! want your bad romance. Lady gaga FTW!

(and I regret to inform you this but the above is a useless entry and you just spent one minute of your life reading it)

Thursdays are green

Of Life in Simple Monochromy

2009-11-20T05:39:00.010+08:00

As a sequel to my previous thought on how growing up and growing old has made me relook my life, I came to realise how layered people has become, how stratified one's speech is and how much of a palimpsest an individual is with each year forgotten.

I guess we all tend to remember too much and forget too little. But subconsciously with time, we find ourselves begining to lose track of all the losses and heartaches we never knew existed. Yet it all remains somehow an ever living memory in some place, something or some part of you and awaits you stumbling back upon it only to be amazed by how easy it is to feel the very nuances of that moment.

We tend to lock people up in songs, in places, in scents, in cards, in letters, in gestures, in parentheses and embed them too deep never realising how irrevocable it all is. Like energy, memories cannot be destroyed.. they can only be created. So relish and live in those moment before you find youself drenched in regret as the moments imprint themselves as memories of the past.

On a related note, although we have officially taken the last exam for our academic career, it doesn't mean that we will abandon the bonds fostered. They say, love those people who saw you when you were invisble. I cannot agree more on that and for the past three years..

these are who I meant!

(last warning to shy and his banana)

And here's especially to the sunshines who were there throughout the arduous cramping period, in one way or another.

:):):)

ps to those still having papers: all the best! I will secretly pray for you all so call me out when you are done. byebyebutterflies!

pps to self: turn body clock back!! this is bad:/

Fridays are blue

Of All the Right Moves

2009-11-16T15:47:00.003+08:00

edit:...this would be my cardboard:)
-

Would kill for that now.

You know I was just thinking that in the event where I go bonkers while studying and my brain exploded into smitterens with accompaying projectile jucies.. I can always fail the paper and join one of them in their creative profession.

And my personal favorite goes to..

Okay la dear god I was really kidding about failing the paper. Please don't make it come true I promise I will thrive to be a better citizen. By that, I mean not making jokes about your drawers and also by being nicer to my whatever brother.

And because it's monday, the day tends to rub off the blues. Like you know the thing about growing up? It's how disconcerting to feel like you know too much only to realise the next instant how little you actually do. It is a constant struggle to avoid sinking, the endless battle to stay afloat in the sea of continuous uncertainty. fwah very deep cannot stand myself so it means time to take a mini nap and listen to Owl City (which happens to be my current earband after Coldplay and Oasis). w00ts.

And to the you who would not think it's you but it's really you:

MAKE LOVE, NOT MAKE WAR!
Mondays are red

Of my Favourite Damn Disease

2009-11-12T04:09:00.016+08:00

edit: Social interview asks..

hahahahahaha okay pass.

(BUT HELLO TAKE AWAY THE 'AT TIMES'!)
-

Okay so I am determined to have a blast after the paper because right now I am feeling so miserable I can take the colour and vibrance off any living or non-living things. And you know I am depressed because..

I am still stuck at chapter 2

I have a ~~moustache~~ pimple

I am getting FAT

I am getting paranoid

I am getting very paranoid

I am getting extremely paranoid

exam blues make the metals blue. even my couch turns blue.

And last of all.. I SPENT 1 HOUR TAKING STUPID DUMBASS PICTURES AND THEN POSTING ON MY BLOG. and WATCHING HBO FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS SO BECAUSE OF THAT I WANNA STAB MYSELF AND ROLL UP INTO A POPIAH AND THROW MYSELF OFF THE SINGAPORE RIVER NOW.

Even capitals cannot do justice to the epic study failure. I will kill to bring Randall and Rink to life (oxymoron!) and maybe seduce them to take the paper for me because it's damn frustrating to sieve out the main points and then having to digest every terms and sentences before vomiting them out on the many pieces of underlined cellulose on the 19th.

And it doesn't help that my house is completely void of human vibes (not that it has much to begin with) now that my parents are overseas and my brother is in NS. Sometimes I find myself talking and laughing with rum and raisin, the only two fatass organisms that compete for oxygen with me in the house. You see, a good teacher is an effective communicator.

like real. I'm still sane and pretty okay. hahahahahaha

so here's a pretty picture to ward off all the evil monsters because it's firday the 13th! gosh. And if you're reading this now... it means you're not studying too! nyeh nyeh nyeh.

BED TIME! don't comment on the pretty part kthxbye

Thursdays are green

Of Love in the Favourite Colour

2009-11-06T03:09:00.019+08:00

rar.

Pretty much sums up my mood when it comes to studying. I think I should start perishing thoughts of sleep and teevee if I really want to pass my last paper for the year. But then again I think I deserve a mini break because I cleared hell week so goodbye to all the reflections, presentation and report. And hello to notes, readings and more notes. le sigh.

NUS chicks, although we are on two completely different pages (think algae and listerine then think notes and articles), I feel ya'll too! So don't despair and get all burnt out because I know we will be meeting up really soon to bitch, drink and make many toasts to the end of study woes. CORRECT?? correct.

And because today is friday night, I guess it's okay to be a hopeless romantic once in awhile..

“I love that you get cold when it's seventy degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.”

-When Harry Met Sally

'speed-accuracy tradeoff'

...and LKK IMY. to the end of timbatuk and back:)
Fridays are blue

Of the Light that Never Goes Out

2009-11-01T15:21:00.012+08:00

"We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later."
-Summer, 500 days.

So I finally got the time to catch the much-acclaimed show last night. I think most of summer's dialouges seriously resonates? speechless.

But yes I like how realistic the show is and that it is really not a love story, but a story about love. I also like how the show sheds light on the brutality of love instead of the normal happily ever after endings. And the show is not exactly that mainstream because it protrays the male as the sensitive and emotional one and the female on the other hand, is someone who is indifferent, mean, and unpredictable. She is the epitome of an object of desire AND a subject of fear. ossum possum!

I guess what's particularly noteworthy is perhaps how the show amplifies the 'more than friends, less than lovers' theory but brings us back to sqaure one at the end of the show. What with all the ready-to-be-friends talk when both characters know their relationship is apparently beyond platonic. The possible rekindling scenes where they met, flirt, sparks flew, hands meets heart and everyone thinks they are prolly gonna get back again? But no those are fleeting and if you don't already know...
happiness is fleeting.

word.

I especially love how the show expertly blends bliss and blues as well as expectations and reality. The ending is way too cute too! Watch it if you haven't; it's a pure blast of romantic oxygen.
And I just had to end all the gushing off with this..

Tom: So.. where are we going?
Summer: I thought we said to the movies.
Tom: I meant, us. What are we?
Summer: Who cares? It's not important. Are you happy?
Tom: Yes...
Summer: Yes! THAT'S important. I'm happy.

okay and surprise surprise. Two more week to exams and like similar poles on a magnet, the notes and I seem to repel each other. SIGH. Need to start studying intensively because I really have zero idea what Randall, Mosston or Goldberger is talking about. Or who they are. Maybe except for Mosston because I attended his class reunion. ha ha.

STUDY STUDY STUDY! and starbucks.. I will see you really soon.

Sundays are violet

Of Forgetting to Forget

2009-10-30T12:43:00.003+08:00

"I wish someone would tell me something incredibly profound. I wish my heart would beat beat beat in time with theirs and things I want to say wouldn’t get caught in my throat like my hair gets caught in my fingers and ties itself into knots. I wish the voice in my head didn’t say the things it does, because of all the people I can trust in the world I shouldn’t be one of them."

Like an old friend paying a visit, this feeling creeps up to envelop me in an embrace. Don't expect a return.

And you know yesterday was one of those days- where you wake up and pull the curtains apart and the sky seems a darker shade of grey; where your feet lose their spring and shuffle about miserably as you go about. Even the ferrero rocher I had on the way back from seven eleven tasted like cardboard, and that's when I knew I was having A Bad Day.

Anything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong. Life was indeed out to kick my ass but well that was yesterday and besides, all it takes to right every wrong was just a phone call at the end of the day so yup TGIY!

On a random note, if your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another, before we do anything, we should first decide whether we have a better head or a better heart. I think I had it figured out and I guess the end of something good is really the start of something better. I know it because this time.. it's different.

I like my boring old fart. very much. yes? :)
Fridays are blue

Of a New Perspective

2009-10-24T15:01:00.012+08:00

edit:

"I’m sure many people have asked this before, but what exactly is love? I always feel like I’ll never know when I am in love."

"You will know when you are in love. You may be kind of confused at first, but as time goes on you’ll know. When you’re in love, you’ll always have that person on your mind. They’ll be in your dreams. They’ll be your favorite thing to talk about. You won’t want to do anything else but spend time with them. You'll feel warm and fuzzy with them. You’ll look forward to seeing them, and then when you do, you’ll get all these weird feelings in your stomach. It’ll feel so weird but yet comfortable at the same time. Unexplainable, and that’s what love is about."

food for thought:)
-

so many things so little time!

I feel damn stressed suddenly I think I should take a chill pill asap because number one, it's bad for my skin and number two, I feel (rather) mental. Need to remind myself to take deep breaths. I am also kinda stressing out because I have an assignment due next monday, on top of which I have two other assignments + one more field trip so if my calculations are correct, I am going to die next week. *hyperventilate

THERE IS TIME. THERE IS TIME. I CAN DO IT.

peeps, don't try this at home. Procastination kills! So yup I will start my work tomorrow. hahahaha tell me about the irony.

On a side note, I read this off somewhere today and I think it makes ultimate sense. "Be with that someone who knows what they have when they have you." Think about it!

And oh I can't believe the number's forty-three too?
There goes my fantasy... poofs.

Saturdays are indigo

Of a Little Less Conversation

2009-10-19T01:21:00.012+08:00

Hey wait, joking right?

You mean people are allowed to keep Capybaras as pets? That is so unfair. I want a capybara too!

(just kidding. capybaras are fundamentally-speaking... pigs)

And I really dislike being in a shopping mall with the dinner crowd because aside from having to gasp for oxygen like a dying fish, the surrounding literally smells like a cesspit. The number of individuals harboring fatality-inducing stench is significantly above national average. I think we need a deodorant usage campaign. PRONTO. What is with all the free condoms they surreptitiously slip into goody bags at every event? I say, nivea body spray or even baygone will do. Like maybe the amount of body odor is inversely proportional to amount of friends you have? Therefore, stay clean everyone. pun.

Okay so I don't know what the future holds, I will never get to know what the future holds but for now, all I know is..

(cept' change spiders to cockroaches)

Alrights back to my reflection. sigh can someone break the mirror please. hahahaha okay not funny. DO WORK!

Mondays are red

Of the Favourite Cookies

2009-10-16T08:57:00.002+08:00

"I spend 23 hours a day wondering whether we’re wrong for each other, wondering whether we’ve got the energy that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into, whether the baggage we both bring would sink a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize I’ve been thinking about you for 23 hours and I come back to there’s something about you I can’t stay away from. Something about you that makes me want you."

and.. I will always walk beside you.

Fridays are blue

Of the Dreamer's Disease

2009-10-08T14:55:00.009+08:00

edit:

“Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.” -Good Will Hunting

everyone, say awwwwwwww..
-
Funny how whilst out and about today all I could do was lament the unforgiving seasonal heat pressing in from all sides only to walk out of the room with raindrops falling on the head. Talk about the binary nature of rain. Unpredictable, and very much like someone I cannot put a finger to, until now.

And as I sit down infront of the plastic screen today, I realised that my words fail me miserably and I've lost the ability to translate my thoughts into statements. Nonetheless I know from last week that sometimes all you need is a bottle of corona and a friend beneath the stars that shine:)

Should I stay or should I go.

Thursdays are green

Of Fire and Water

2009-10-01T14:37:00.007+08:00

Running, running

As fast as we can

I really hope you make it

Do you think we'll make it?

Be the one I need

Be the one I trust most

I think it's a feat to survive two full days with barely three hours of sleep. Just when I thought there wasn't anything to look forward to (other than my bed), something incredible happened. And then I catch myself feeling amazed that I am still capable of being speechless with emotion. right there, right then.

I also think that the repercussion of late nights and early mornings have taken a tremendous toil on me because I totally concussed last night, waking up intermittently to sit up and then lean on the side of the wall (according to fatass roomie), which I entirely have no recollection of? I really scare myself sometimes but I figured it's just.. sleepsitting. Beat that, peeps.

Okay gotta do some stupid pirmary school maths test now. yawns. I hope I pass hahaha.

(oh and happy children's day to the kid inside all of us!)

Thursdays are green

Of Car Rides and Bus Stop

2009-09-27T02:33:00.015+08:00

I always say the stupidest things..

Nights are unbearably paused and thoughts in still air are so mammoth in size they have been exhausting me the entire day. Fatigued by the marathon of running through my actions, judgments and emotions ad nauseam just so I can rationalize how I feel and affirm the fact that I am not some crazy emotional person who has not grown out of her insecurities.

Rather upset by the yellow-white discovery though:(:(

On a lighter note, the mother of two (turtles) have finally decided to do something noble for them.. cleaning up the tank. zomg I swear they really did drill in some kinda animal responsbility in me, subconsiously. And excuse me where is Mr fireman!

So anyway my mom totally did a bimbs today.

Mom: Need to call plumber. Pass me that yellow pages.

Me: HUH?? That's my textbook.

Okay please do not tell me it runs in the family because it SO doesn't. well maybe except for the george wellington episode. HAHAHAHA epic. Alright and I shall end off this entry with something philo that I read vaguely somewhere;

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you cannot utter."

I.. cannot agree more.

Sundays are violet

Of the Pretty Ugly Truth

2009-09-22T02:57:00.007+08:00

edit:

PE teacher: Okay take the frisbee.

PE kid: Yes Sir!

PE teacher: Now flick it and throw!

PE kid: Yes Sir!

PE teacher: Hello this is not military, you don't have to answer Yes sir.

PE kid: ... Yes sir!

HAHAHAHHAA I think it's pretty damn amusing.
-
Can't sleep when I think incessantly. Too many questions, too little time. I guess I need to feel more than what I am able to just so I can be alive. I dislike living the perfunctory and upholding the restrictions it places on us because uniformity and rules bore me senseless. Straight lines that lead to nowhere but a known destination. I don't want to know what will be the first thing I see in the morning.

To read between the lines of Songs and to see your name written in bold.. mission (really) impossible. Sigh.

On a geeky note, I can forsee myself working like a horse this semester which is something... new. This I can only attribute to my fatass roomie who happens to be on academic turbo this semester. How sad is that, for ME. So for the past 3 years I've been enjoying my bumming days, I am now actually contemplating working my butt off. read: contemplating. oh joy.

But I have company so not to worry.. ninja turtle! and you:)

but they gotta e-a-t! hello we're not in africa please.

(p/s highway: maybe you're right. MEAT!)

Tuesdays are orange

Of a Sensitive New Age Guy

2009-09-19T05:43:00.002+08:00

ZOMG GUESS WHOSE BLOG I'VE FOUND!!

"Anyway, I have been travelling a lot to the west side of the island recently, cos I'm now coaching NTU. Having been with NUS floorball for more than 7 years, I was quite excited and really looking forward to the unfamiliar training environment. Indeed, the culture is so much different, as I have anticipated.

Nevertheless, I still enjoy every bit of the culture change - I enjoy travelling on the double-decked 179 buses, even if it's late at night; I like the aroma from the nearby cocoa factory once I step out of the train, even though it might be unbearable at times; I like being in that conference room and just keep talking, even though it's stinky and dusty and pathetically small; I enjoy looking down to the court from the stands above, although it's just training going on.

I think things are a lot simpler and more straight-forward in this environment, thus making life a lot less difficult for everyone. Well right now everyone is still not warmed-up to everyone yet.
But when this time comes, I believe beautiful sparks will be created."

-A.

awww.. don't you just wanna hug him now? sweeeeets!

I think he's gonna rock our smelly socks big time. So let's train hard, train smart, don't break his heart! NTU............ tewtew:)

(but I still hate the cocoa smell)

Saturdays are indigo

Of the Tip of an Iceberg

2009-09-17T18:11:00.001+08:00

tertee too A"I asked you to hang out. You asked me what I wanted to do and I said I didn't know. Truth is that you could throw rocks at my head and I'd just be happy to be in your presence."

Thursdays are green

Of Hope for the Hopeless

2009-09-15T23:07:00.000+08:00

Lost and insecure,

you found me.

And so school has swung into rather-busy mode and I am currently kinda suffocating under the copious amount of lesson plans and field trip visits. somebody call 911.

For the lack of better words to gild my feelings: I feel like shite yesterday. Amazing how time slows to a crawl when you are miserable. Aren't we all supposed to learn something new about ourselves everyday? Considering the number of tasty nuggets of existence I have come to learn of in two decades, this must be my MEGA enlightening period. But all's good now so nevermind.

On another note, growing older.. it seems that time has become a pivotal point for all things necessary, the lack of which often result in a point of consternation. We all seem so caught up with the seconds, minutes, hours and years but really what is time but a concept of passing reality we face every day. So main point. MAKE HAY WHILE THE SUN SHINES because time and tide waits for no one. My favourite template.

Enough of the self-absorbed incomprensible stuff. Here's..

FOOD PORN!

-

-

Life is short. EAT!

And their shape and their hair and their eyes and their smell and their voice. Suddenly, these things can exist and you’re not quite sure how they existed without you knowing about them before.

-I Wrote This For You

(can't wait for tomorrow!)

Tuesdays are orange

Of Doubling the Two

2009-09-11T05:01:00.006+08:00

And this year, I only have one wish... ASK ME ASK ME!

Fridays are blue

Of Staying Behind the Red Line

2009-08-31T19:45:00.004+08:00

Do you not agree that most of our days pass by in a haze of effort, flashbacks and living? Like the sepia tone, everything's a shade of brown-grey when you try to look back and recollect specifically how your days whiz pass you. Like the colour, our memories age yet remain warm at the same time it scares us how intricate our minds actually are. Here's the rendition of my weekend in the faded.

5 spells wala with EIC.

6 goes with the Goodfellas at substation.

7 is sit-and-watch-the-world-pass-by at Denise's.

This weekend I also discovered that I really do possess the remarkable capability to comparmentalize my feelings such that it is actually possible to be aware of two states of mind that occur concurrently. It isn't right to feel such opposing emotions simultaneously because the plausibility of such a phenomenon is beyond logic. So much for needing to feel to be alive. The 'more than friends, less than lovers' concept is an overkill I think it should be abolished.. from the face of the universe.

Things just break sometimes. Maybe we should blame that third person we became, that personality we shared together. Maybe it's their fault because you're a good person and I think I'm a good person too. We just weren't made for this.

-I Wrote This For You

Mondays are red

Of the Familiar Running Game

2009-08-26T12:01:00.016+08:00

you you you you you you and you

So today was a rather good day.

You know I'm not really a fan of people who use their blogs to ceaselessly ruminate over their days like chewing furiously upon a distressing, stubborn bit of spinach. But today calls for a pardon because surprisingly, today felt oddly right despite a reluctant jog at the break of dawn with the underlying threat of dinner treat should any of us refuse to plonk the ass off bed and decide to pull out. Do not try that at home. I am mentally, physically and basically very, very exhausted now. seriously.

oh and NEVER entertain calls from an overgrown retard trapped in a teenage body swooning over F4 in the wee hours demanding she wants an F4 too. you think I am mother cupid ah.

yes BECKS YEO SHAN CAI(XIN) you la you. really think you very kewt right. but I still love you so peace and harmoney!

Anyway I figured that I need more entries that state point blank what kind of a day I had, need to be able to describe more of what surrounds me in tangibility instead of focussing upon what can only be felt. Need my own bit of spinach to chew on like an annoying prick too. Besides, every BUDDY seems to be bitten by the blogging bug I am overwhlemed by the mammoth influx of updated entries. So friends, roman, countryman, here you go!

If our practicum school have all of the following..

We'll just die of happiness overload!

Teachers by day, friends by day AND by night

We attach emotions to everything and everyone. Typing these makes me feel poignant already. There's only one and a half more semester to go before working life slaps us right in the face. And sadly I feel like my whole life revolves around the mere feeling of poignancy and the weight of its presence.

It's like I tend to watch the world ease pass before my eyes- the sights, the sounds and the people like a slow-moving film screening. I need to wake from this fitful existence, need to live beyond my second, my hour, my day. no shite okay.

Hence mental note for the week:
Live IN the moment, not WITH the moment.

And because some boys can be a real dick at times, or rather, most of the time.. here's something for them: What's the similarity between a sperm and a man?

they both have only one in a million chance of becoming human.

SO TRUE RIGHT. okay nap time!

Wednesdays are yellow

Of the Girl in the Dirty Shirt

2009-08-25T14:51:00.009+08:00

You could be my unintended.

So it's the end of August and the clouds are breaking into songs of happiness. The seasons are moving faster than we do and I feel like the past few months have been an absolute waste of my life. At present, I feel intellectually parched and terribly unstimulated even in terms of the most frivolous aspects of life. I.e my itunes playlist has been inflicted with an aging population problem. Thank god for coldplay, rachel yamagata, the fray and oasis they never fail to be my earworms. And I am so bored now I could grow mould and put a three month old bread to shame. Albeit the fact there have been aspects of these past few months to be thankful about, I am just at present moment, terribly mouldy and unhappy about the fact that I have to be purposeful about things I don't give a damn about.

And you know these days I feel words slipping away from myself. Just like how I have grown accustomed to occasionally feeling myself slip away into a vast puddle of nothingness. Does that even make sense? Like I catch myself veering between the extremes of either feeling like an empty shell or having to deal with a plethora of thoughts jarring my mind.

I am determined to be seventeen again. I have missed being inane, young, dangerous, lost, and not needing a larger goal in life to work towards. sigh.

On a final note, I crave/seek/yearn/wish for excitement. Whatever happened to our hips and haps days??! Seriously, I need to buy a frog or something to psych myself up.

(I gotta feelin'//...)

Tuesdays are orange

Of the Second Best Medicine

2009-08-24T15:27:00.007+08:00

SWEEEEEEEEEEET!!

Mondays are red

Of the Space between Changes

2009-08-19T13:07:00.006+08:00

I'll blend up that rainbow above you

And shoot it through your veins

-
How to piss the frogshite out of people.

*Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
*Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
*Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
*Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
*Practice making fax and modem noises.
*Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
*Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
*Honk and wave to strangers.
*Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
*Ask people what gender they are.
*While making presentations, occasionally bob your head.
*Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
*Sing along at the opera.
*Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
*Tell the ending of movies.
*Shake with your left hand.
*Give photo frames for friend's birthdays.
*Tailgate the elderly.
*Drum your fingers during other people's presentations.
*Blow out other people's birthday candles.
*Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways.
*When giving directions, leave out a turn or two.
*Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures.
*See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window.
*Put a title like Doctor or Professor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations.
*Open umbrellas in crowded hallways.
*Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want.
*Tell teenagers how things were in your day.
*Drive on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in.
*Wear large hats during the movies.
*Race the old woman for the last bus seat.
*Flirt with a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend.
*Bring 15 things into the dressing room.
*Bite your dentist's finger.
*Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa.
*Rubbertime.
*Tell people they have bad breath.
*Tell people they put on weight.
*Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you.
*Touch strangers.
*As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Wednesdays are yellow

Of an Overflow of Words

2009-08-16T13:11:00.022+08:00

Some things we don't talk about

Rather do without

And just hold the smile

Falling in and out of love

Ashamed and proud of

Together all the while

You can never say never

Why we dont know when

-
Moosik

Moovee

CWO workers

Girlfriends

Pretty much sums up the weekend in a nutshell.

And as the tittle suggests, I have too many thoughts to pen down and the words are bursting from the seams of my brain but I think it's rather pointless to showcase for the public eyes so I have chosen to leave them where they are.

So the movie drought has seemingly passed because there's a myraid of nice ones coming soon to any cinema near us. G.I Joe was technology at its best and extremely futuristic you just wanna grow up to be a policeman after watching it. The proposal was Miss Congenality (in alpha suit) meets Mr right (in average joe style). I think it was hilarious, really. So I highly recommend the latter show because the dialouges are witty and funny, not in the least like those brainless lines in silly shows with blondes and red heads singing and dancing on canteen tables.

Movies in anticipation:
The ugly truth (GERARD BUTLER)
Inglourious bastards (BRAD PITT),
500 days of summer (AS YOU CAN SEE FROM YOUTUBE)
The time traveller's wife (RACHEL MCADAMS!),
Coco before chanel (AUDREY TAUTOU!!),
New moon and.. Sherlock Holmes. Bring them on baybee.

(Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn't)
-

Sundays are indigo

Of Making Damn Sure

2009-08-13T14:31:00.009+08:00

So school was rather stressful already on the first day with an one hour lesson plan task due next monday. More DEADlines to come? you bet. Oh anyway I was really amazed by the astro turf overhaul it felt like entering teletubby land at first glance and I just wanna roll around the pitch and forget about whatever hockey, frisbee or rubgy. yea It's THAT cool.

see, got pineapple trees somemore.

Work aside, it's been eat, sleep, fat cheer and repeat. What's new other than the fat cheer which we have dearly concocted for our special friend whom you'll see alot in the rest of the entry.

The usual EAT

The usual SLEEP

(as dead as logs please. rape you all also don't know)

And the unusual FAT CHEER.

Anyway all photos are taken using the iphone which are but grainy and indistinct in outlook it makes me feel uncomfortable posting them. okay whatever act pro only this girl:/

Meet my psycho roommate! spank him very much.

And I still can't believe we stayed up till two in the morning for stooopid HEADBANDZ when it's Clara (idol) Tan at 830am. Nonetheless, it was a kickass session because guess what? A new headbandz queen was born last night so all hail yours truly! smirks.

The new entertainment..

The new forfeit..

The old loser.

Defeated frown and victory smiles (sorry yw but it's the rules! hahahahaha)

Okay la. You know we still heart you both many many, to the power of infinity:)

And you. you totally proved me right.

I've never felt so sure about this since two weeks ago and I know it's okay because out of sight.. out of mind.

Thursdays are green

Of Hanging Up the Halo

2009-08-10T12:43:00.014+08:00

edit:

Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be this hard.

I'm going back to the start.

*I'm extremely annoyed today I've came up with a short term resolution.. not to lay my eyes on anything imbecile.
not now, not anymore. seriously.

And the flu bugs have officially landed. groans.

Hi Singapore (yes it's a personification), Happy 44th!
You can be my mom.

Oh and may I just say that hiring Electrico for this year's theme song is the most awesome decision by the government (other than the GST offset package) because I actually find myself secretly humming the song. Like national day songs? me? zomg.

So anyway good things in life tend to unfold themselves in ways you could least fathom and I consider this to be one of life's greatest mysteries. I just hope that they are contagious because it would translate to one good thing leading to another, instead of the usual never rain but pour. Don't we all?

You know somebody once said, we are characterised and defined by the things we do in our life, our jobs, career, whether you're a doctor, lawyer, teacher, actor, that's what you're known for. And I think to have that taken away from you be it temporary or permanent, is like losing your identity. You're no longer a doctor or a lawyer, you're just a human being, not any more significant than any other space-filling mortals who only take in oxygen and release carbon dioxide on earth.

Thought of the week: What's YOUR identity?

See I'm so in sync with all the national values. Can you feel the patriotism vibes radiating from your plastic screen? I CAN.

...like real. just cut down on the ERP please.

You might realise that I've been blogging. Because guess what? I need to channel some of the negativity from the thought of going back to study to something more positive like inculating a sense of national identity on my blog. Am I noble or what.

OKAY. School starts tomorrow and I'm gonna be back to oversleeping and skipping classes so may god bless me always and may my guardian angels look after me. HAHAHA.

Mondays are red

Of Leaving on a Jet Plane

2009-08-08T10:11:00.009+08:00

"How come we only ask ourselves the really big questions when something bad happens?"

-Tommy from I heart Huckabees.

You know it's always never easy to say goodbye?

both emotionally and literally. Sorry is not the hardest word, goodbye is. And.. this is it.

So today before the sun even peeks, we plucked our asses off the bed to send XrayX off. Sad to say, two years IS a long time and the feeling of transient loss is rather heavy to consume early in the morning. Despite the smiles and chatters, I know we'll miss her somewhere deep down in the left ventricle (HAHA). But honestly for me, the space she left behind will never be replaced because she's a keeper as well as an awesome friend. (and also because I want free medical treatment)

Okay you know I'm kidding. Here's the shiz!

Same old brand new

Sleepy eyes and ruffled looks

So need to warm up for the camera.

Kindred spirit 3.(behind the scene)

A hug a day keeps the blues away.awwwww..

you're our next big thing:)

Subsequently to deal with our loss, we need to gain. So what can beat having breakfast with the ugly clown in yellow boots.. MACDONALD!

FOOD PORN

I swear Macs will be the cause of my death one day. What with all the fried carbohydrates and hidden fats. Heard of fast food, fast dead? YEA it's talking about me. But it's okay. Cause life's too short to bother about calories hahaha whatever you know it's just an excuse. And so that fateful day with the Favourite..

It's out with metro station, in with shake it shaker fries!

...and you should too:)

On another note, it's back to school in another 3 more days. Happiness. is. fleeting.
(and see, I blogged on a saturday!)

omg what is wrong with the portal I can't get my timetable since yesterday! so pissifying please:/

Saturdays are indigo

Of the Kids and I

2009-08-05T23:51:00.012+08:00

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed sing like bird

Dizzy in my head spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh you make me smile

This song never fails to brighten my day, anytime.

-
So The Day came and went. It was heart-wrenching to pack our stuff and as the drama room became empty, so did our hearts. On the other hand, it was also heart-warming to see the kids staying back just to wish us all the best, their awesome cards, posters, gifts and most of all, their genuine goodbyes.

Although they will never get to read this, I still gotta say it. Please don't stop reaching for the stars and pushing yourselves to the limits because one day, all of you will make it big.

study hard and do me proud<3(okay. cheesy like cheezels.)

Alright. So here's the non-living things.

And here's the living things..

(SURPRISE! hahahaha yuck)

The spastic floorballers..

The kids I don't teach at all..

And some of the favourites.

I'll miss those after-school games..

The lameness..

(kids these days.)

And of course, my HAWKERS! (think hockey)

Thanks for everything!

And what can be more perfect than to chill out at starbucks to put a closure to the past 5 weeks of extreme weal and woe.

sunshine smiles!

cheers:)

Wednesdays are yellow

Of a Beautiful Disaster

2009-07-27T21:32:00.000+08:00

Open the windows. Let some light in.
I feel so grey.

Of a Bittersweet Affair

2009-07-26T22:11:00.005+08:00

edit:

"It changes all the time, it never stops changing. When you're young you say - I love you because I need you. When you're old it's - I need you because I love you. Big difference. And I''m not saying that one is better than the other, although the second one tends to last a bit longer. But you never stop loving each other, Harry. Not if it's real."

"It wasn't meant to trap you Harry, Cyd said. The marriage, the wedding ring, me and Peggy. I know that's how it made you feel, but it wasnt meant to be like that. You and me - it wasnt meant to make you feel trapped Harry. It was meant to set you free."

Tony Parsons- Man and Wife

Sometimes I think love is really just a hoax. It's a word for which there is no concrete explanation nor existence which is why people always use THAT bible quote to tell you what love is. ha. It's so airy fairy and philosophical - it's a subject which I could never grasp. sadly.

And I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which

I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you,

I find it hard to take

When people run in circles

It's a very very,

Mad world.. mad world.

Awesome song if you haven't already listened to it. Mad world by Adam Lambert!

Today was a hectic day but seriously, what's new. EVERY, DAY, has been hectic and packed to the brim since the start of practicum. Okay digress. So we (or rather, I) kinda celebrated MoneyM's twenty second just then. Please forgive me for the brief pop-by because it's quality over quantity and well better late than never.. yes?? YES LA:)

WONG SX you fly our areoplane

BUT we still love you la<3

On another note, it was farewell for the interns and contract teachers last friday. sheesh do I miss them already! Can't really imagine life without them noise and nonsense next week in our isolated quaint little room. Here's what I mean..

HOME-MADE NASI BRYANI SMUGGLED IN YO!

Sam, your mom REALLY has the key to our stomach:)

Here's the interns with The Boss.

And here's all the Roses! (Thorn yeo was in timbatuk?)

So the past one month was a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs, more of the former I would say. The girls never fail to make my day, everyday. However, there are times when I feel the invisible pressure to conform to The System. A system where it sees me not being able to be the real me, the pressing restriction to adhere to the rigid kinda norm. Well.. thank goodness for god-sents in the school. Sometimes all one needs are the few words of magic to remind me not to change nor subcumb to The System. Because at the end of the day, "You're doing it for the kids." Thanks h00ts, this came from you!

Alrights looking back, it's a great experience but as we all know, all good things come to an end so I foresee some emotional turmoil towards the end of next week? I'll definitely miss those girls who came close to my heart.. they remind me very much of myself in yesteryears. okay emo nemo drama mama.

And so on a final note, this is a note for myself; to remind me of who I've always wanted to be.

Sundays are violet

Of Sleepy Eyes and Jello Body

2009-07-14T18:49:00.002+08:00

-

You know sometimes when you just keep quiet and listen to what people say, you are able to sieve out nuggets of wisdom from what appears to be casual banter... dinner conversations?

Anyways. Lesson plan's a bitch. BIG TIME! 13 more days:(

Tuesdays are orange

Of All in a Day's Work

2009-07-02T18:05:00.002+08:00

-
Practicum has been kind to me so far, other than the fact that the screamings and squealings can really get to the ear drums sometimes. The girls are extremely giggly and gossipy but seriously what's new. Like.. been there, done that.

You know when I was observing this bio class for practical on photosynthesis yesterday, this girl was asking the other one;

girl geek: why must we place the leaf into alcohol?
(correct answer: to decolourise the leaf)

girl bimbo: oh cause the leaf wanna get drunk.

giggles giggles

Another time in the lab with the same practical but a different class..

girl prefect: teacher, why does my leaf not make food?
(correct answer: insufficient sunlight)

girl backbencher: your leaf is aneroxic what!

giggles giggles giggles

And just today as I was chilling with the girls..

teacher: every ______ has a silver lining
(correct answer: cloud)

girl joker: sanitary pad! SANITARY PAD!!

hahahahaha

I think it's quite funny no? Anyway I have been spending my afternoons doing up lesson plans, powerpoints, notes and worksheets. what a nuisance okay. I hate worksheets with a vengence. What with all the insertion of text boxes, lines, space alignment, highlighting and bolding of key points.. seriously ugh.

Oh I also had the best muffin in my whole life today. It was a life changing moment because I've never particularly liked muffins. The one I bit into was soft and gooey and full of bananas. The shop it's from is apparently supposed to be famous. And what else could it be called but... Delicious Muffins. -_- but THEY ARE REALLY DELICIOUS OMG. out of this world.

Thursdays are green

Of Early Mornings and Early Nights

2009-06-29T05:25:00.000+08:00

Hello! I guess I have been nelgecting this space.

And so I'll be having my practicum which sadly translates to no time to do rubbishy stuff like waking up at 5pm, stalking people on facebook and doing mindless surfing. I earn $0/hour and I will (or will try to) sleep by 12midnight everyday and most importantly, I will also stop eating supper!

These few weeks I have been feeding myself unknowingly, till stomach fold 1 can feel stomach fold 2, and then I go and sleep after that. (!!!) sure way to grow fat people, I should stop! This is something along the lines of what I consume for supper: Nasi Lemak - coconut milk, FRIED egg, FRIED wanton, FRIED dough aka prata, FRIED potato aka cheese fries. omgwthknslolbbq right, I am getting round like round round baby round round. I wish the fats would go to my boobs, unfortunately for me the first place the fats go to are my cheeks:(

So main point:

LESS FOOD, MORE EXERCISE and NO SUPPER!

Anyway digress. I think that when you work, you are too busy to remember what you did the day before. Like everyday you just want to get home, dinner, watch teevee and then sleep. You'll feel like typing the days "whizz by" but how can that be when time seems to drag on at the same time. MIND BOGGLING. (word of the week)

I guess I'll be back on the blogosphere on a regular basis because there's always something to write about when I'm on practicum. Wish me luck with the girls and may the sun be with me. I feel like Casper the fatty ghost in recent photos and I promise I will get darker, skinnier and meaner after practicum. Mark my words and carve it in stone! rar!

AND MJ omg MJ. I cant believe he's gone. I'm not a particular fan but he was such a legend you would have been crazy not to have been influenced by him in some way or another. There are millions of dancers out there who started dancing because of him, that's how iconic he was. Fifty years down the road nobody is going to remember Shitney Spears, but people will remember MJ like we remember Elvis Presley.. epic!

Time check: 6am.
And because school is the new 7am so.. good morning singapore!

Mondays are red

Of a Stitch in Time

2009-05-17T19:28:00.007+08:00

Okay so I lost my blogging mojo but no, I am not dead yet. Just bumming my holidays away. But it's good cause it's worry-free and I can do whatever I like anywhere, anyhow, anytime. Is that like shiok or what.

Life hasn't been all butterflies and roses but I guess it's alright to suffice for now. Too lazy to upload the gazillion tonnes of pictures taken over random days and nights so.. yea.

And Swine Flu. I'm rather amused because it sounds like something out of a movie. If they stop school and gatherings, then life will really BE dismal. Can't travel, can't go out, no school but there was no school to begin with. watch people get infected. watch people die. watch mad scientists clone florescent genes into dogs. what's next.

Anyways I think this is quite cute. okay random.

And to my many peeps in OZ/US now, please be safe, have fun and kick some ass!
Damai, I love your photolog the snow and all looks amazing I bet you must be having a blast there albeit the cold. brr.

p.s: greys' is so addictive I can't stop watching it since their uncalled for hiatus and guess what? Izzie's getting married! whee. (oh Survivor Tocantins finale tomorrow too!)

p.s.s: please cut hair tomorrow you look like a caveman.

Sundays are violet

Of the Induced Fit Hypothesis

2009-04-19T09:47:00.007+08:00

"I am far from perfect. But I will be perfect for that imperfect someone who is perfect for me."

Pretty much sums up the hypothesis.

edit: SEPTEMBER- Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes.
Likes to criticize (understatement: Loves to.). Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous.
Good memory (storage like that of an elephant okay!). Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings.
Very choosy (in every single living or non-living thing), especially in relationships. Systematic.

One of the 982617234 facebook quizzes. Very true indeed!

Anyway I feel like I need to take up yoga or meditation, or something of that sort to help me refocus all my negativity into positivity- think happy thoughts, breathe deep and block out all the annoying people that affect my emotional state of mind. what only this girl.. emotional state. Back to the topic. I hope like, maybe I can see flowers growing on a piece of shit. or carebears in a thunderstorm. something like that. But even if I can't make that happen, i'm not going to give a damn about them anymore. They can continue to suck at life.

okay please quit being so irritable.

That aside, I guess having no exams this semester can be considered a perk although it would first translate to the consistency of being taxed with a tribillion amount of assignments throughout. But well, it's over! at least for now.

And so before I retreat to my bubblewrapped world of teevee, books, and floorball.. I wish the academic warriors goodluck in their painstaking endeavour. May the force be with you. HAHAHAHA.

Call me out when you're liberated please!

Sundays are violet

Of Butterfiles and Hurricanes

2009-04-10T22:49:00.002+08:00

This is technicolor.

And this is..

Life.

In.

Technicolor.

Once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in a while, people may even take your breath away..

Once in a while.

Hell weeks are over and heaven is a place on earth. I've never felt so relieved after being smothered by the highly insane amount of assignments. Massive picture post up soon! toodles.

Fridays are blue

Of the Hardest Part

2009-04-01T04:17:00.011+08:00

Sometimes it is so hard to explain the feelings that you have. Perhaps if we could have turned back time, we would have walked past each other then and find each other now. Or never. Or with our present knowledge we could have rectified past wrong. It is a see-saw of ups and downs, right now, tomorrow, tonight. We seek to find meaning in our existence and togetherness. We see through each other, you walk, I run. We never find out if we are coming or going.

Relativity is a concept we all know but never could understand.

Wednesdays are yellow

and you really let me down this time.

Of the Punk Rocker with Flowers in Her Hair

2009-03-26T01:11:00.011+08:00

hi old fart B!

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

And when all that you wanted and all that you had

Don’t seem so much

For you to hold on to..

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Because, for you I bleed myself dry:)

DAMN CHEESY. but I think I'm so sweet can.

Okay la. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! <3

and D is for Dilligence.. Do something about it.

Thursdays are green

Of the Speed of Sound

2009-03-23T14:47:00.010+08:00

just some food for thought.

On another note, other than school school school and school, here's some pictorial evidence of non-academic stuff that I've been up to.. for those who thought that i'm murdered by the relentlessly merciless amount of assignments and wondering where on earth have I disintergrated to. Here you go!

Skools friendly

and all that jazz..

No prizes for guessing who's part-time coach?

yea. little miss amir hahahaha

and hi everybardy, meet CHABARELLA. waves waves

zee oh mee god. coldplay in five hours' time whee! <3

Mondays are red

Of a Never Enough Thing

2009-03-19T12:21:00.010+08:00

time time time.

so this is life in a nutshell..

DEADlines. starbucks. monopoly. late nights. morning blues. balcony. oxycover. sara chua. JSS. training. macadamia. wine. cheese. facebook. stress. islands. pretzels. 2v1. fish soup. problem sums. cosy gym. red hot track. and, nobody nobody but You.

okay hiatus until the storm brews over. Till then...

nap time. BYE-BYE-BABARELLA!

Thursdays are green

Of Black and Gold

2009-03-01T15:48:00.012+08:00

now i'm looking for a reason why

you even set my world into motion

cause if you're not really here

then the stars don't even matter

It's sunday already...................... NO MORE RECESS WEEK:(

I am damn sad because it only goes to show that happiness is fleeting. When reality slaps you back in the face, it really sucks.

And that will translate to me being damn grumps these days so please don't tell me stuff that are upsetting, let me see stuff that are upsetting, taste stuff that are upsetting, smell stuff that are upsetting blah blah blah. okay see I told you I'm a grouch now. Like I feel so irritable and miserable? sigh this is really bad. Alright I think I will sound juvenile but really, school sucks..

BIG TIME.

So to all the other loves who are suffering like me, hang in there! I hope the clock will fast forward to the three months hols?? I can barely smell it from where my timescale is now:(

Oh anyway I caught He's Just Not that Into You some five thousand days ago and it reminded me of Love, Actually very much because of all the different stories that interweaved at the end of the day. I quite liked it because it was real. I mean, not everyone ends up happy in the end but good for those that do.

Okay I need to do work like now.. NOW.

Sundays are violet

Of Burberry Weekend and Studs

2009-02-24T09:31:00.006+08:00

And so it's the recess week and I am both happy and sad at the same time? Happy because i'll get to spend more time with those who matter and play catch up with all the lovelies. Sad because I NEED TO DO SCHOOL WORK. And the workload is horrendously Insane with a huge I. Yes MB, after organsing my notes and checking my mails, I totally feel you:(

That aside, it was the Oscars yesterday baby! And Kate Winslet finally took home the golden man after being nominated for six times?? Team reader! knew it. But what shook me most was the film Slumdog Millionaire? It never struck me how phenomenal it was because guess what. It won a grand total of 8 awards?! best picture, best director, best adapted screenplay, best friend... HAHAHA okay gotcha. Anyway.. yea SHOCKS. Oh the late Heather Ledger deserved best supporting actor for his remarkable role in The Dark Knight and yes, Penelope Cruz too for hers in Vicky Christina Barcelona (stop the aguilera joke you idiots.) This year's Oscars is really awesome mark my words! What with the sexiest Wolverine as host, everyone, you should just catch the encore if you haven't already watched it! sheesh.

On a random note, you know that there's PMS - which stands for Premenstrual Syndrome but there is also PPMS.

PPMS stands for Post-Premenstrual Syndrome.

Then there is also MS, which is just Menstrual syndrome.

So girls, you have a reason to be grumpy all year round with people who piss you, annoy you, irk you, and make you wanna slap them. Really random. No one in particular.

Then on another note, it's islands again whee! What would I do without the horlicks fix. More to come please Sclubbers. Nuriahtherockstar (wannabe) and kimmy, you guys are missed! As for buddha and her missus, not really. LIKE I SEE YOU TWO AS OFTEN AS I SEE MY LITTLE TOES?!. sian to the max. hahahahaha just kidding! I love you two deep deep la:)

Here's the perpetrators!

and i scream ice cream!

I is a happy girl

..and you make it real:)

Tuesdays are orange

Of the Colour Yellow

2009-02-15T02:37:00.006+08:00

Look at the stars

Look how they shine for you

-
I wish I could borrow words from my favourite paragraphs to write about all those faded things that still mean the world to me. I think our conversation no longer have any face and the words take days we can simply start to erase everything. I also think that we've lost it and no, that is not a good enough excuse and I know it's all crap. There are some things that words cannot justify so I will leave it as that. But most importantly, I feel that I don't know you anymore.. and that makes me very sad but it's okay because I know I will get the hang of it.

shit happens anyway.

Onwards to shitter things. You know when you are sick, you will feel as if the birds have all flown away and the sky is in perpetual gray. The flowers would stop photosynthesis for you too. sigh. I think I've gotten myself a lethal combi of fever, flu, sore throat and now.. cough. I think karma is biting my ass now for coming up with all the fake excuses for the past sems. Like everything just came down on me? boo. but it's okay la because I AM STRONG. or so I think. I hope I'll be fully fine tomorrow! roars.

And to you, you, and you: thanks for everything.. I am happy:)

I am very bothered by something and it made me very unsettled. I have no idea why but it really affects me to a certain extent. And today I also found out what does T stands for.

T, is for Truth.

Okay now for happy things. COLDPLAY IS COMING TO SINGAPORE?! And it's only a one-night concert? Tickets starts retailing tomorrow so emo boys and girls.. grab the chance yo!

I swear their songs are to die for.

sigh I feel drowsy again? alrights. sleep.

(and mich is SO not studying for maths test she is spying on other's fb profiles and checking out evon's pictures. loser!)

Sundays are violet

Of My Dirty Little Secret

2009-02-11T08:41:00.015+08:00

G-O-O-D-J-O-B, goodjob goodjob! :D

(damai. shy. no change at all?! borrring la)

plus plus the rest who came for day two too!

Hi. This is me at the start of every monday.

We happen to have a 3 hour bio tutorial at 1230pm.

Then suddenly we got very bored.

And also very stoned.
So we started doing stupid stuff.

and so with the BACK BENCHERS..

and my favourite partner-in-crime..

Monday isn't so blue afterall:)

so whatever right. just wanna put pictures up only this girl.

Anyway inter-class netball yesterday was still rockin' good in spite of the screwyoulagurmitsingh! delay because I guess everyone had a fun and FRUITFUL time on court with all the music and stupid silly stuff. All these couldn't have happened without the help of everyone.. ESPECIALLY the hall bitches aka ex classreps aka sunshine of my slacker life: michelle the buddha huang and zijian the motherbitch yao. Cross-overs, you guys are included in the 'everyone' too and I really mean it from my heart okay so big thanks and... cheers!

smelly doots. five stars. happy girl:)

die. also don't know why I woke up so early today.

Wednesdays are yellow

Of You, Me, and Nobody

2009-02-07T17:01:00.005+08:00

If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal

Macaroons lovers alert! They are only selling at $1 each in Bakerzin! sheesh is that for real or what. And okay so life isn't a bed of colourful maracoons afterall. What with all the upcoming projects, assignments and killer microteaching in time to come sigh. I think right now, my life only revolves around school, floorball, school again and maybe some selected fews. Plus abit of drinking and mahjong. So yea this is life for me in a nutshell for those who are even remotely interested? More to come next week I guess!

desserts are really stressed spelt backwards:)

(to the kiddo: sorry you saw me in monster mode yesterday I hope I didnt scare you but I have to say.. the look on your face was priceless HAHA.)

and I cannot wait for Benjamin Buttons later whee!

edit: can I just say that the show really lived up to my expectations although it was really long and slow-paced for a movie of recent times. Oh Brad Pitt was hawtness to the max, especially in his aviator and motorbike ensemble. MELTS.

Anyway I think the show is trying to convey that love.. transcends? Like how despite Daisy's physical decay and Benjamin's mental regression with time, they are still trying to make it work. But alas. The last scene was really quite painful and heart-wrenching to watch because "in the spring, 2003, he looked at me. And I knew, that he knew, who I was. And then he closed his eyes, as if to go to sleep. " sads:(

Okay okay no more spoilers.

But just to add on a little. I guess the meaning behind the storm and flood thing.. it's kinda like a symbol of the inability to stop time. brutal and inevitable. Well I think the point is made: Life is a tide, a flood against which youth, beauty, and even Brad Pitt, have no magical powers to stop. Time and tide really waits for no one ya'll!

(and note to self. to enjoy a show thoroughly, please refrain from bringing some annoying imp who cannot sit still but does best at whining and wonders not at the main gist of the show but at why some weirdass dog still hasn't died. IRRITS.)

I wanna remember us just as we are now.

-
When it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

I miss grey's!

Saturdays are indigo

Of the Lady With the Little Dog

2009-02-02T03:23:00.012+08:00

I guess one of the perks of being twenty one is having the liberty to watch R.A films because I finally caught The Reader today! Subway sandwiches, late-night movie and no more monday blues.. thanks for being Mr brightside, SPSPSP!

Okay back to the show. I swear it was absolutely brilliant I was momentarily stupefied for words after it ended. Like I was already partly expecting a good movie after hearing so much, but I guess I ended up getting a lot more than I've anticipated. The movie chronicles the emotionally devastating journey through the beginning of an affair between a young student and an older woman and the aftermath the affair lays on both of them. Every single performance by Kate Winslet is remarkable I hope she gets her Oscar for this because she totally deserve it. Her acting was THAT extraordinary I cannot wait to catch her other upcoming show Revolutionary Road.

Anyway, it was really intense and sensual in the beginning I guess the producers were trying to highlight the show's bold and gutsy element? As the story progress and the plot unveil, it only elicits even more heartache, confusion, and emotional scars that lasted throughout a whole lifetime in the characters' lives. They always say first cut is the deepest but clearly, there really are not many break ups or separations that can hurt as much as the one experienced by Michael and Hanna. sigh.

I also cannot believe I secretly teared at one part of the show. OKAY I AM A WUSS. But seriously, it totally tugged on my heartstrings and I can feel the red organ sinking southwards. Alrights I will not divuldge much for fear of getting beaten by someone and I honestly think you all should watch it too! (but note that I like arty films so chick flick junkies, think twice!)

In a nutshell, it was indeed love in its rawest form. literally too.

On a side note, I REALLY, to the power of infinity, wanna catch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button because the trailer was so awesome I think it's gonna be rockin' neat. Plus it's Brad Pitt! sizzles. Okay I'll end my entry with a quote that struck me:

Benjamin, we're meant to lose the people we love..
how else would we know how important they are to us?

and also some of the really sweet dialouges they have:

Daisy: Would you still love me if I were old and saggy?
Benjamin Button: Would you still love ME if I were young and had acne? When I'm afraid of what's under the bed?
Or if I end up wetting the bed?

Benjamin Button: I was thinking how nothing lasts, and what a shame that is.
Daisy: Some things last.

I guess some things do last? ..and I am a toots:)
-

(six chicks, PMB, kiddo, goatie..we must meet up soon okay!)

Mondays are red

Of Time to Let it Go

2009-01-29T20:45:00.018+08:00

At 630am, I am clad in yesterday's clothes and I reeked of pinot I think I am quite gone. blah. I is weak. Anyway, I was gonna post up some random pictures so that this space here is at least embedded with human vibes instead of all the words which are but dead. Unfortunately I realised that my laptop was in hall so.. yea. sigh. But it's okay because I watched this really quirky flim Trainspotting and I found an awesome quote.

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers..... Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.....

But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons?

There are no reasons.

-Renton

sometimes, we do not need reasons.

(and what was intriguing could turn out to be draining.. let go.)

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried

And I don't know why

830am track and field lesson every thursday is seriously no joke. especially if you drank seafood soup the night before and you blackjack or daidee until you're left with maybe 180 mins of sleep. We did sprints today and it felt like all the prawns, sotong, tofu and lettuce came alive because I swear I can feel them swimming inside my intestines. I WANNA VOMIT ALREADY OKAY. evon, thank god I didn't if not your shirt would spell like prawns, sotong, tofu and lettuce.

sigh I think I got myself stuck in reverse and thrown into limbo state.I am also kinda bored now because mich eloped with yw and I'm gonna be hall alone tonight. I scared ghost. (and MB, by the time you read this I would have gone jogging. please wait for my call we will carry out the Mission later hahahaha lovelove)

entry to be continued when I can think better:(

Thursdays are green

Of One in a Megazillion

2009-01-27T01:05:00.009+08:00

Without you, I AM NOTHING.
but nothing is impossible. okay one more time..
Without you, I AM NOBODY.
then again, nobody is perfect. wait one last time.

Without you, I AM... a cockroach. (philo baby, philo.)

always my favourite:)

Tuesdays are orange

Of a Twist of Fate

2009-01-26T11:11:00.007+08:00

I said I wasn't gonna lose my head, but then

pop! goes my heart.

Every year, I say the same thing. Chinese new year is so overrated! What's the big deal seriously. Okay maybe with the exception of the reunion dinner, everything else is so meaningless. (but this year, even abalone taste like rubber) Like everyone says the same thing over, the channels play the same shows over (think hongkong mahjong and poker shows), the new year goodies still have the same calories over. It's like life got itself stuck in monochrome and came to a standstill every january. ha! drama mama.

Furthermore everything is so customary there is no excitment at all and this happens to play an important factor in my life. So I am not very much impressed. But yea, at least there's two days of holidays! So okay la, it isn't so bad afterall I was just whining. as usual. And I think I am a CNY grinch because other than grinning to recieve the red packets, I'll prolly be sulking somewhere trying to devise ways to spice things up with my accomplices, aka my mat brother and many many cousins.

This is a random entry. Please do not berate me for being such a grinch because truth be told, somewhere deep down in the corner of my heart.. I still love CNY:)

So peeps, happy moo year! take more moolah! <3

Mondays are red

Of a Supermassive Black Hole

2009-01-23T17:57:00.014+08:00

hello sunshine, come into my life.

So tonight will officially mark the end of the IVP season. I guess it felt pretty much like an emotion rollercoaster ride for most of us throughout the period because there's way too many thoughts and feelings to pen down they should just be kept in our pocket of fond memories and then occasionally, they can be dug up for some sweet reminiscence. grins. And I would like to think that this season is rather special because it kinda saw my heartstrings come undone and I was completely thrown offguard because honestly, I didn't see it coming at all.

And well, they say love is a many splendid thing.. I say it is messing up and not knowing what you're getting yourself into. But because I have no idea what I want (like I ALWAYS do), and because I don't have the habit of taking uncalculated major leaps of faith and plunging myself into something that I am uncertain about, I make life abit too hard for myself.

Then again, on the other hand, because everything's just so gray, life gets a little bit more exciting. However it can get too tiring at times too. so I thought to myself and figured that it's best to simply leave everything to the stars, fate, and the likes.

And how do we know that it's here to stay and not just fleeting?

..beats the hell out of me.
-

edit:

Friends, roman and countrymen! ding ding ding it's friday night and I'm stranded in hall can you believe it. And because I'm relatively free now, I shall do up a peekture post and for those who have not seen me for the longest time, I'VE GOTTEN PINK BRACES whee. pink is the new black ya'll!

So it's ICG frisbee today and nuriah the rockstar, you're missed cause we can't forget the stints you pulled last year! EverysickVON, you're missed too we hope you'll recover in time to celebrate CNY with a big bang bash! So unsung heros, check your emails for further details? :)

Okay and here's what goes for today's session!

gayboy by day..

bulldog lookalike by night.

fatgirl by day..

still a fatgirl by night. HAHAHAHa.

so stop blocking my face with your chubby arms!

Hello? frisbee or soccer?

My favourite hall bitches!
(and why do we looked like the cast of twilight? damn pale!)

RELEC ONE CORNER ONLY AH
but it's okay. I LIKEEE:)

you don't see me..
you don't exactly see me..okay you see me.

I heart my class deep deep!

And straight immediately after interclass, it was interhall basketball at the MPH and guess what? There were tons of supporters surprisingly! I mean, ON A FRIDAY NIGHT? I'm awed.

My favourite fred perry:)

Tiong is somewhere there..

Vivian is somewhere there..

(sorry la too far to zoom hahahahah)

Lastly..

i love i phone.

but hates my inbox:(:(

(edit: I woke up to something nice this morning and I no longer hate my inbox. so everyone.. happy moo year, pull your ear!)

Fridays are blue

Of a Movie Script Ending

2009-01-21T12:55:00.012+08:00

Before it all ends

Before we run out of time

Watch the world come alive

Stay close to me

Cashback. I've finally watched the show that have been haunting me every single time I set foot into a dvd store. And I'm in love with sean biggerstaff! He's not that fantastic looking or anything but I really like his neat, decent boy-next-door look. And the way the lines beside his eyes crinkle when he smiles.. and his smile reminds me of someone else's. The wide and impish kinda smile that resonates enough happiness to remove all the blues in the world? Anyway for those who have no idea who this guy is, he's oliver wood in harry potter (okay, not very helpful at all right hahaha)

So about the movie, it strangely is the kind of story I would write if I was a script writer.. the words as good as came out from my mouth, the thoughts as precise as those in my mind. The dialouges were really very poignant and hits near to home and I really liked how they structure all the feelings and inject subtle expression of emotions into the words. Here's what I mean:

Once upon a time, I wanted to know what love was. Love is there if you want it to be. You just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it.

I wanted to freeze time. I wanted to savor that moment, to live in that moment for a week. But I couldn't stop it, only slow it. And before I knew it, she was gone. After the door closed I felt like the last person on Earth.

The bad news is that time flies.

The good news... is that you're the pilot.

So. Are they brilliant or what!! swoons.

And on a random (post-its) note..

it's heart arrest.. uh oh.

Wednesdays are yellow

Of Love's Labour's Lost

2009-01-16T01:53:00.017+08:00

Dear me..

Snap out of the melancholy already and quit moping over the lost because life's like that. Consider yourself lucky because despite losing the season, you've gained yourself wonderful teammates and priceless experience. Disappointment is but the human condition. Subdue it. Cultivate it after. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow disappointment.

Never hope to seek solace in self-pity or self-misery, or wait for something to fill that space. If you choose to take the easy way out by weighing yourself down with the bad and quitting, then you will just grow old with bittersadness. The best you'll ever do is to re-evaluate yourself, know what it is that you want, pick yourself up again and not let the cattle stand in your way.

moo.

Yes the white shirt blue book days are over, but its spirit lives on. To the day we return on court as a stronger team.. cheers.

Love,
me

(lou and jill: watch us grow as we rock the court next year! \m/)

-

So it was 2-2 and because it's a draw, we lost. I think no words can describe what I'm feeling now because certain emotions are simply inexplicable and unexplainable they are better left like that. I can only gather a sorry as well as a thanks right now.

Sorry because I fumbled and I missed the rebound right infront of me. Thanks because of the ceaseless support and encouragement from the teammates and friends which is but a motivating push to each and everyone on court.

Lastly.. I am morbidly contemplative and calm about my own demise. A new muse? It should be a happy affair, I think.

And before I leave this space, I will quote a WISE PERSON..
aka secret coach.

it's good to lose u noe..bring u back dwn frm up there and humble u..hehe..just like teaching ah..must build ur foundation..imagine if u keep on winning..it's an even harder fall if u are way up there without hiccups along the way..

:)

Fridays are blue

Of Making It Count

2009-01-14T01:55:00.013+08:00

So last week felt like I was digging my own grave in slow, steady movements. I think I've spent countless hours in the sleepless dark enshrouded by my own misery. And I have arrived at a ephiphany once again: this is it. Existence is futile, meaningless. Don't you think that being is devoid of anything and everything that has been promised to us is a lie?

Temporary salves only serve to distract us from the cold, hard fact. Think of life as a never ending first-time adventure ride. No matter the thrills, the excitement, however perfect the ride you think to be, at some point in time you are bound to be sick of it. How impossibly padded to reality our senses may be. How we think ourselves to be immensely satisfied with a little comfort. A warm embrace, kind words, moments of sad, little opportunities where fellow homosapiens look at someone else other than themselves for a change and extend a little of their self-pity towards another... nothing but delusive little attempts to disguise existence for what it really is.

Okay the above is abit hard to digest so this is my main point in a nutshell: nobody is capable of comforting anyone other than themselves, and it is a sad ironic truth that they themselves are the last people they want to be comforted by. We can choke ourselves with bundles of comfort and it wouldn't make a difference if we cannot believe in ourselves deep down in our hearts.

So, I CAN AND I WILL DO IT! I swear.

On a happier note.. I love facebook because I have a secret coach and she puts an apple in my eye:) okay very cheeeeesy.

(and everybody please read mich's blog cause she needs more blog traffic and she actually blogs more than me now??! snorts.)

Wednesdays are yellow

Of Waiting For the Rapture

2009-01-08T11:51:00.008+08:00

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?

So you don't know where you're going, and you wanna talk

And you feel like you're going where you've been before

You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored

Nothing's really making any sense at all

Let me tell you a story.

Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware that he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier that year.

The end.

My head's in a mess and my thoughts are scattered they want to come out like this:

I started the first day of school on the wrong foot. literally too.

Everything's just been down and off. fuck. I hate school too.

There are mother gross people out there I just wanna spray them with bygone and fedex them to the bermuda triangle.

Thank goodness for god-sends, what would I do without them.

note to self: need. to. find. mojo. back. ASAP.

Love hurtz life suckz.

I am emoger87 /sad/wrist bye.

Thursdays are green

Of Walking on Air

2009-01-03T03:29:00.008+08:00

Blend that passion and shoot it through my veins.

-

Fresh start. Thanks to the calendar they have it every year. Just set your watch to January. Our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year. Bringing on the traditions of new year resolutions. Put your past behind you and start over. It’s hard to resist the chance of a new beginning- a chance to put the problem of last years to bed.

...if only it is that easy.

Random thoughts kept running through my head the entire day and I feel that at some point in time, I am thinking of too many topics all at once. But I cannot help it, I like to think. And sometimes, the weight of them all can get too much.

Like the start of semester would mark the onset of assignments and stress, at the same time signifying the end of bummer days made up of hangouts, shopping, gossips, movies and suppers. The end of holidays would also mean lesser time spent with the old fart cause we can't do spontaneous stuff as and when anytime anyhow anymore.. I is sad. Wait for me to book out on weekends! :(

On another note, the carpark gantries are up in school and it is utterly Disgusting. With a big capital D. bold-faced and underlined. Seriously, what is wrong with them?? We are but poor undergrads with little allowance, or for some, negligible, so why are they taxing our already meager amount of money. ugh. Note to self: join Anti-NTU-gantries group on facebook and protest with all my might! hahahahaha talk only la. I coward.

And so tomorrow is our first IVP match and I'm feeling extremely jittery on one part but strangely excited on the other. Nothing much to say, other than the fact that I urge everyone not to laugh at my jersey tomorrow cause the sleeves are a tad unbalanced. My grandma altered it painstakingly okay. It will serve as a constant reminder that she will kick my ass if I underperform! (mich: you think only your ah ma can sew?? so can mine!)

To all the lovelies: Thanks for the good luck messages and notes! I know we will give our 101% no matter what the outcome is:)

Saturdays are indigo

Of Course It Can Only Get Better

2009-01-01T02:27:00.001+08:00

hihi my abandoned blog.

I think 2008 is much more than what I've anticipated and planned. Although there are times when I felt that it is a letdown like when the good transpire as the bad, and vice versa, I am still not able to reason how it can end up being my achilles' heel. okay I'm talking greek again. (pun!)

Well despite the cynic in me, I guess it was indeed an eventful year with tons of activities tried and insights learnt. Because I don't really do resolutions, I can only wish and pray and hope with all my heart that 2009 will be a good year. Less negatives and more positives.. don't we all?

And here's a melonhead story I took out from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy:

There once was a morose melonhead, who sat there all day and wished he were dead.

But you should be careful about the things that you wish.
Because the last thing he heard was a deafening squish.

Be careful what you wish for. I thought it was pretty cute so.

Alrights. Cheers to a new set of three hundred and sixty five:)

Mondays are red

Of a Walking Time Bomb

2008-12-28T03:57:00.008+08:00

Hope

Dangles on a string... like slow spinning redemption

Winding in winding out, the shine of which has caught my eye

This season, I ushered in the holidays by waking up at crazily early hours and then hitting the sack at insanely late hours. Like there's way too many events, too many thoughts and too many pictures to post up. Because I've always deem blogs as a convenient channel to update folks of your little world (and sometimes maybe an excellent platform to rant, rumble or riddle your hearts out), I've decided that I will not chronicle all the littlest thing since it's the period of meet-ups now and close ones would already have been updated on what needs to be. The endless procession of gatherings and dinners will do fine. Too many pictures and too little time anyway. I IS A LAZYBONES.

So photo loansharks, please kindly nudge me on msn and I'll thrive to zip up all that I've owe you in the fastest time possible.
read: thrive.

Okay so IVP is impending and I'm pretty excited about it because I have faith in the team- in each and every one of you. Personally, I think sweat is proportional to efforts and although trainings are killing us right now, I know we will survive and emerge as champions in our own HEARTS! Because afterall, LAFFE is the best medicine and so 2009.. it's gonna be special:)

IHG, ISG, IVP, IMH aside, I've stumbled upon Narnia of the West that day! Yes, the new JP Extension, of which I think it's an understatement because Dinosaurication will be more apt. If you haven't been there yet, please be prepared for a bagful of surprise and awe because words cannot describe its enormity. And the most amazing thing?? I never knew of its secret existence all these while! must.take.train.sometimes.too.

Well, can you see the end?

ANTI YOU, SEE!

And it was a fruitful trip indeed.

This is YW. This is a prettier YW.

cheap cheap sushi..... CHIONG AH!!!

By day, I sell colgate.

By night.. I am fann wong.

Conclusion? JP is the new town.

And okay 4am, I am feeling a tad morose. eek. What is up with all the mood fluctuations of late I think my sleeping/eating/drinking habits are getting the better of me. Or maybe I am just going through a second growth spurt.

But well, we never will grow up. It's just too hard.

I have decided that in life, we should learn to let everything go and just concentrate on living for yourself and those who matter. Hit the high notes and forget about the lows.This is as they say, a motto. And I say, easier said than done. Okay dear me, you have to snap out of this broody state. SNAP OUT OF IT. So grow up and take responsibility.. GROW!

Sundays are violet

Of Having Trouble Sleeping

2008-12-26T02:01:00.008+08:00

As christmas came and go, and all the partying begin and end, here is small favour I ask from all; to please keep my granny in your prayers. Because since she fell down, my granny has been sick. I don't know what the exact diagnosis is, only that she contracted a virus that is exacerbated by the many old aliments that plagued her. Hopefully she can go home by New Year and hit me with the umbrella like how she used to, and most importantly I hope she recovers soon. Like she's not young anymore but I am. I need her here to nag at me, to constantly remind me to be filial and grateful.

On another note, how much does it take for one to notice another one?

... not much. (especially if that one is a klutz)

Also, watch your tongue because it kills without drawing blood.

Man's tongue is soft, and bone doth lack; yet a stroke therewith may break a man's back.
Benjamin Franklin

Okay. I promise a real blogpost soon. Stay tuned folks!

Fridays are blue

Of a Cold and Frosty Morning

2008-12-08T02:11:00.000+08:00

Why does it always rain on me?

Is it because I lied when I was seventeen

So everyday is a standard of book reading and perhaps some distance clocking if the skies permit. And like they always say, you can only fish for so long before you throw a dynamite into the water.. I guess I'm about to throw one because everytime when we are to run, IT HAS TO FRIGGIN' RAIN?? holy smokes.

And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I suck at mahjong. Please refrain from calling me for that in future because all I'll do is sit, wash tiles, get bored, stone and maybe disrupt the local gravity field. BUT. I cannot help it when lady luck chooses to smile at me all the time! HAHAHA.

Oh yes for those who hasn't heard the saying- love is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Don't believe it because for Luke Kibet, IT.IS.A.SPRINT. 2 hour 13 min for a 42km run? you do the math and you'll arrive at an average of 8 mins for every 2.4km! geez I think he secretly injects photons of light into his calfs.
Think speed of light. And then eat his trail of dust everyone.

Okay this is a fluky entry and to add on to its purposeless nature, I shall draw up a random mental note for myself: stop going chomps already because the consecutive nights of supper serve you nothing but diabetes. And uncountable calories. So here's to healthy home-cooked organic food and the many litres of pure oxgenated water to go along with.

Like real.

A friendly note of caution to all kindred drivers out there: please avoid taking the BKE, KJE, or more specifically, MANDAI ROAD at night because yours truly just got lost there and searching for PIE in the mini bermuda triangle is tantamount to a little man holding a flashlight in a blackhole looking for his 5 cent coin. Enough said.

I think the bitch streak is acting up a little but I don't really care because I am happy just thinking of laying my hands on the waffles in gelare tomorrow! So.. do not fly my aeroplane or I will flank you off from the face of earth. just kidding. PEACE OUT:)

Mondays are red

Of Infinite Possibilities and Beyond

2008-12-04T02:37:00.004+08:00

And so it's Gut Symmetries today by Jeanette Winterson, this brillant author who's known for hiding snippets of quantum physics in almost all of her books. Her writtings are always so profoundly penned yet so subtle at the same time you wouldn't realise it's physics until you re-think your thoughts inside you. So I thought I'll share my favourite extract from the book.

Walk with me, hand in hand through the neon and styrofoam. Walk the razor blades and the broken hearts. Walk the fortune and the fortune hunted. Walk the chop suey bars and the tract of stars.

I know I am a fool, hoping dirt and glory are both a kind of luminous paint; the humiliations and exaltations that light us up. I see like a bug, everything too large, the pressure of infinity hammering at my head. But how else to live, vertical that I am, pressed down and pressing up simultaneously?

I cannot assume you will understand me. It is just as likely that as I invent what I want to say, you will invent what you want to hear. Some story we must have. Stray words on crumpled paper. A weak signal into the outer space of each other. The probability of separate worlds meeting is very small. The lure of it is immense. We send starships.

I left out the last sentence. The sentence which made this page so poignant. And as I leave out the last sentence, I make this poignant for myself.

Thursdays are green.

Of Deal or No Deal

2008-11-30T02:17:00.011+08:00

edit: I AM SHITE PISSED WITH MYSELF FOR BEING SUCH A WUSS CAUSE I JUST BAWLED MY CORNEAS OUT WATCHING THIS NEW FANFUCKENTASTIC SHOW. SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!

Stop and stare

I think I'm moving but I go nowhere

-
So lately life has been rather easy because I just got myself a new chaffeuer. Although she is young and dangerous, lost and delirious, she can be quite a boon at times. AT TIMES.

..steady hands just take the wheel

phew. still alive and clickin'

And because I am so sore about always missing my mango madness, I've decided to join floorball madness! Okay super no link. please ignore thank you very much.

I think they can speak for themselves:

The extra, The 4am, The ubin and The... ugly. Happy campers!

And here's a big pat on all our backs because we played really hard and I guess it was worth it at the end of it all. MORE TO COME PLEASE! But don't ever cycle like mad or stay up late or do some weirdass laundry at weirdass time the night before??

Back to my chaffeuer. During her off days, she becomes my starbucks accomplice as we set new glasses trend and devise evil conspiracy to take over the world ala pinky and the brain.

I love these shite! Lydia sum gone wrong.

(and what's with the hand?!?)

mirror mirror on the wall who's the coolest of them all

And now you see us..now you don't!

(okay not really)

I heart my old fart la:)

Alright and so this space is dedicated to ma favourite rockstar of the century- NURIAHHH THE CAREY! Happy 22nd birthday once again and surprise surprise, you are now officially in the old fart club but it's okay... because I heart you too!

Yes peeeeekcha post up when I get them. Until then, cheers.

Sundays are violet

Of My Sweetest Downfall

2008-11-27T18:49:00.013+08:00

If you asked me where I've vanished to. My answer is, No where. I've been here all along but more submissive and quieter than before. Maybe I just don't like the loud social scene anymore or places that seem like a sardine can packed with people. I only know I like chilling out and just chit-chatting about everything under the sun with those who are worth my time and breath. And I realised that the topics of conversation are always on a different plane with different people. Like we are all converging on parallel lines yet never really coming together. figures!

I guess this could all be attributed to me growing old and boring, or me just being scared. Either way, I'm enjoying the slow paced snail life, the take-it-easy kind, ANTI SOCIAL (yesss) kind of life. As long as there is the lens to do the seeing for us and music to do the talking for us, nothing can be too awkward. geez I started off with nothing in my head, and ended off with all this crap.

Oh yes I had a nightmare yesterday and the dream was so scary I shrunk into a dried prune today thinking about it. Please be gone you nasty bad dreams and hi there sweet pretty dreams!

And here's some food for thought from The Last Lecture. It's pretty much a simple book that conveys heart-warming messages. For those who like Tuesdays with Morrie, you'll dig it.

When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you.

Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to show how badly we want something.

For Jai and me, our dented cars became a statement in our marriage. Not everything needs to be fixed.

Okay I urge everyone with good reads to make my life more interesting. And Decemeber is approaching so that means trainings are gonna start really soon. But before that let's revive our rusty skills this saturday first sheesh I'm reeeally excited!

And I wanna watch Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist! Sounds like a cheesy show but I guess the showtracks are gonna be rockin' good cause the story kinda revolves around moosik and love? ANYBODY IN FOR IT PLEASE LEMME KNOW:)

Thursdays are green

Of Life Through a Kaleidoscope

2008-11-24T13:17:00.008+08:00

I cannot tell you how much I love Sunday brunch but I will tell you why I love it. Simply because I can take my own sweet time and let the hours and minutes carry me through the day, because I can read my papers or books in bliss and because they are two inserapable entities; so with good food, there'll come good mood..

And here's some Dempsey love yo!

rock my smelly sock(oh this one not counted)

wah look, food on blog so coolzzzZz!

And because this entry is incongruous like the rest of my other entries..

guess the new toy for last week?? YEA NEW POLARIOD BABY!

you cutay pai you. I promise to strut you off once I've gotten hands on the films which unfortunately, is practically extinct and dodofied already boo. So tech geeks reading this, send some advice and rescue us from the plight of no films please!

p/s I want a piñata for thanksgiving! tres cool, tres cool:)

pp/s I've got a special friend and I'm special to her too:)

Mondays are red

Of a Rush of Blood to the Head

2008-11-21T02:37:00.010+08:00

...Max Brenner was AWESOME! Goodfellas were AWESOME!

Punggol Nasi was AWESOME! but. coming home was AWFUL..

there's no one here:(

Stood on the edge, tied to a noose
You came along and you cut me loose

Nothing much can describe how one feels at the end of a plank you feel you have walked yourself up in part. Like there is nothing more to do or say because neither actions nor words could penetrate beyond the surface.

When you strip away all the words and actions what do we have left? One mind too raw and battered to carry on. But there is always hope. And even though we all know that it is but a mere mental construct, it CAN work wonders.. I Hope.

And so drug of the week goes to STARBUCKS' DARK CHERRY MOCHA PLEASE. you know I have a thing for hanging out in Siglap lately and I realised that it feels damn weird today to not see the usual group of girls and then eavesdropping on their really bimbotic convo that is so Power they put Anna Faris to shame that... SHE DIED! (you who know shall grin)

And because my favourite festival is coming and I'm hearing christmas carols everywhere, I've decided to make a little wish note for Santa if he happens to blog hop and stumble upon here.
He also have wireless you know. (my mother say one)

So deer bigbellywhitebeardredhat coolio..

I want this pleaseeeeee!!

And I say.. Be a good girl. Be a good boy. Support twloha!
http://www.twloha.com/

and then this too!!

and maybe some polariod 600 films to boot!

(just one pack is enough. me no greedy)

THANKS! I SWEAR I LOVE CHRISTMAS DEEP DEEP:)

Oh to end off this entry, I will tell you more about my mom. That day she suddenly barged into my room and asked me for suggestions on dec trips and this is how our discussion went:

Me: Bangkok?
Mom: so sian

Me: Indonesia?
Mom: nothing to see

Me: Nepal?
Mom: so cold...

Me: Kazakstan!
Mom: I will disown you.

Me: eh I know, Australia!
Mom: so boring...
(by the way the last time she went there was 20 years ago)

Me: India
Mom: everyone who goes there gets food poisoning

Me: okay Alaska?
Mom: your tits will freeze
(TITS?!! I think she secretly watch gossip girl! this old woman ah)

Me: what about Africa?
Mom: later their tigers eat us up

Me: Tokyo (okay actually my mom suggested this..but then she goes on to say)
Mom: I think flights all fully booked

So in the end she's gonna check the flights out and my family will be going there if there's availibity. (confirm have one can!) BUT I'm not going anywhere because I just saw Ayeen's email on training days and it's gonna be jam packed so. SEE I SACRIFICED MY HOLIDAYS OKAY! damn noble. (and stupid)

pats myself. okay sleep.

Fridays are blue

Of Taking Flight or Fight

2008-11-19T20:29:00.008+08:00

Hey so life is really perculiar.. sometimes you just end up at the wrong place at the wrong time. I have friends going to this country on my left and family going to that city on my right. I would kill for an overseas trip (think New Zealand or Australia on christmas!) this holiday. But I guess I'll just have to settle for a short over-sea weekend trip because time and tide does not allow.

Okay so I have a moderate amount of free time at home today and I realise the need to pack up on crayon coloured clothings (I've moved away from black quite radically) and give the wardrobe a vibrant revamp but there doesn't seem to be much to buy nowadays. And it doesn't help that I have black braces for this entire month. I guess it is back to black afterall.

It is honestly quite depressing to see the heavens throwing tantrums so frequently these days like they love catching us off guard because one moment it's fine and dandy and the next, there's rabid water droplets and furious winds right before you. This makes plucking your ass up and heading out become less exciting but nonetheless I will dig deep within that- somewhere in my heart and relive the excitement again. For that, I guess nothing beats chilling out in Starbucks on a lazy afternoon and then mucking around just watching the world pass by:)

DA BOMB

DA SHIZ

DA CHICKS

Xiao Hong flew to hk but we met Nuriyama Sen To Sa.

sigh you know the thing with short hair? It needs your perennial maintenance and care every few weeks or so. Therefore I’m gonna like trim my hair really soon because any failure to meet that demand would give rise to a catastrophic image consequence like how when you're walking by a group of people and you hear sniggering, you sometimes get that paranod, self- conscious feeling that maybe they're laughing about you, when they're really not? But in the case of a bad hair, they really are.

So I think people with shapeless hair are uncool. They can maybe sign up with the !kung Bushmen clan and hang out with Amy winehouse or the ice cream auntie in my estate.

Oh just making a general statement here.

And party animals, have fun in zouk on my behalf! Meanwhile..
back to my lab report now. bye:(

Wednesdays are yellow.

Of the Perks of Being a Wallflower

2008-11-17T02:33:00.009+08:00

What's the story morning glory?

For the last few days, I suffered an elephant headache from all the electrically psychedelic lightings in town like you're bound to get blinded by the bling and blang and blong everywhere you stepped foot on but this just means that XMAS IS COMING! It's always been my favourite day of the year so a big w00t to that:)

I am sick of technology and its temperament and I hate my house desktop with a deep, deep vengeance, laced with sulphuric acid and cobra venom. If I could punch the socks out of it I would. After spending hours downloading coolio drama shows, it saves my files but CORRUPTS THEM. This means I couldn't open them at all and I was on the verge of insanity but thank god for google, I found a very good software to open my files so I still have all my shows in the end. phew. I would seriously be bawling and cursing the ground right now if not.

I saw a nymph (ZOMG NYMPH!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) in my kitchen that day and I went all nuts so I took to my fastest speed and grab the spray can at the top of the shelf and I sprayed at the effing nymph. It continued to scurry so I sprayed and it moved so I sprayed alot and it stopped. THEN IT CRAWLED AGAIN. I sniffed and I looked down.."GLADS Lavender Bathroom Freshener" I go die now bye.

Okay move over already, bitch streak!

You know that day I was watching the 9pm AIDS show and I... TEARED?? alittle bit only la. omg I am such a wuss I hate it:(

but really damn poor thing okay. My heart totally went out to the little one when she stood up for the dad like super noble can? And her acting is damn good I can't stop laughing at her antics and animation and hair. confirm win mini star award. oh yes I wanna do the AIDS test too! What happens if I get AIDS? Will you still sit in my car? Starbucks with me? Jog with me? Movie with me? Share my redbull? I BET NOT. you timid twoop you.

(actually. I also don't dare hahaha)

Sigh I hate writing fluffy entries like this because it has no substance. But I have never been one to wear my heart on the sleeve and the occasional, over-emotional bouts of verbal diarrhoea on this blog has me clambering to wipe it off the face of the earth. I mean, hello? Blogs are just convenient avenues to delete parts of your past you want to forget. I don't like it when people read your sullen and desperate blog entries and proceed to patronise you and pretend to be concerned.

I also hate being vulnerable. What I would give to let my guard down, but I push people away because I cannot stand it. I hate being weak. And I push people away. It is quite tragic. Which is why I reckoned this blog should be strictly frivolous. I guess I would rather people assume I have no cares in the world and that my life is about as great as a fish with bicycle. And I think people who look too happy have something underneath their skin. Maybe it's escapism. I think they rather believe that their life is like a bed of roses. Welcome to the self-delusional club.

I remembered posting something like that before. okay enough of crap. I bought a new book today and I am very happy! But I swear I am damn broke this month so I cannot spend anymore.

My mother say one.

And I am going to grow sunflowers. yay!

Mondays are red

Of the Good, the Bad, and the Weird

2008-11-14T14:31:00.008+08:00

edit: oh no dr Bailey got to stop operating and take Tuck in hand cause he's making me very scared in prison break:( kill this kill that. No wonder always no time to go marriage counselling.
-

Before anything..
THE PREVIOUS ENTRY WAS JUST A RELFECTIVE POST!

But anyway thanks for all the 'are you okay? why so emo? how come so sad? are you too stressed? let's go out today it'll be fun' smses and calls. I thought WHAT HAPPENED TO MYSELF?? faints.
okay seriously I swear I won't reflect anymore.

And so exams have officially ended for me and it only spells FUN FUN FUN and.. FITNESS. Fun because I can do anything I like now without the element of guilt and it means towning, playing with cameras, reading, watching lots of shows and chilling out whenever and wherever I want so I say YAY to it:)

Fitness because it's time to get myself on the running track after the unhealthy mugfest cycle of eat study sleep. December is gonna be Insane with a capital I just by looking at the training schedule and omg we're gonna have IVP camp so double YAY:):)

Alright so this is the Good..

Hi testosterones. yuck

oh hello oestrogens. wheee!

(geez same smile, everyone!)

REMEMBER REMEMBER, SEPTEMBER...

This is the Bad..

smile properly can or not.

badass brother. and bad breath too eww

and this is the Weird..

MonstrousM

ZomgsoactcuteZ

and SunshineS. HAHAHA don't care. my blog.

Well lastly, have you prayed today?

please please please let me pass AMX!!!
I treat you lotus seeds.

Fridays are blue.

Of the Best Policy

2008-11-12T05:49:00.019+08:00

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you

...

It is unfortunate, perhaps on my own part that after being on this plane of existence for 21 years I have little accomplishments to my name. One can only be nothing for this much. Most days I wish for nothing more than to cease to be anything. I never quite understood the meaning behind my own existence. I once thought I was made for great things. I grew out of that notion as it became increasingly apparent that it's not going to happen.

I could hardly play any musical instrument, maybe except the recorder, I am terrible at drinking and drawing, I am no culinary genius, I cannot speak french nor am I extremely adept at any tools. The only thing I did remotely well at, was read. I could read at the speed of light, and perhaps writing. And yet today, at this very moment in life I wonder if my talent (if I could call it as such) is in actuality, a detriment.

I feel too keenly the ways of the world, and I get hung over the minutest of events. I would give anything for a simple mind if a simple mind is what can keep me sane. I want to be surrounded by the untruths and be comfortable, but yet it seems that every step I take is littered with thorns. If not comfortable, then what can I hope for, other than to be comforted? So I came to the conclusion that comfort, in its very ideal, is beautiful. But it is with the greatest of woes when I say that it is sadly.. not quite feasible.

Like who shall you hope to run to for comfort when everybody is bubble wrapped up in their own happiness? Or misery. In the midst of all the helter skelter who has time left for comfort? So I surround myself with indifference, hoping that it will become a loudly silent shell by which no pain can weasel its way in.

In just another few more hours, my exams will be over and I'll be calling it quits with the semester of 830am lessons, screw-loose tutors, late night drinkings, and herbal ant killer smells. And right now I feel extremely vulnerable because my impenetrable wall is dismantled by Thought. Therefore I write.

This semester taught me things I never knew beforehand. Like silence is not always golden and that change, might just be good. This semester also see me gaining new, valuable friends but at the same time it saw me losing one as well. and that One is incomparable to everything else gained. So like an unbalanced mathematical equation, it becomes a deficit for me at the end of it all. But sometimes distance is clarity. At least for me.

(and no B, losing is not the same as throwing away)

This semester also gave a whole new meaning to giving up and brought growing up twevle (tweleve? twelve? can never get that right) notches higher. It also proved me wrong and changed my perception because I realised that out of sight does not necessarily equate to out of mind, as much as I hope it is.

For everything, I guess this semester can really be hailed as an absurdist play of epic portion- great joy and also great sorrow. And by a strange stroke of fluke, it is in itself, a Catch-22.

so yes I am flawed.. and broken.

and I thank those who stood by me despite it all.

okay you don't have to understand.

6am entries don't have to make sense.

Wednesdays are yellow.

Of the Taste of Imaginary Ink

2008-11-09T03:57:00.007+08:00

Because my brother and I share a common toilet, it makes absolute sense that all our bathroom essentials are situated together right? BUT. That doesn't give him the liberty to place his new gatsby aftershave cream RIGHT NEXT to my hair conditioner, what's more if they both look alike in the cylinderical bottled form, are white in colour and have black letterings because yours truly mistook it and used it for my hair which in turn smelt like his jaw after he has shaved.

I knew it. I shouldn't have gone home. Stupid piece of handicap with three (almost) missing fingers. I swear he placed the cream so closely next to mine on purpose because I burnt his jeans last week. But it really wasn't intentional! It's okay. Because I'll secretly tweak his glasses this friday so he will have to slant his face when he puts it on. It goes with his crooked teeth anyway.

Alright unhappy stuff aside. You know, the only thing that is making me happy right now are these little pieces of heaven..

One of my favourite candy from Candy Empire! Despite the tons of chocolates and other sweet treats there, this never fails to catch my eye and omg I really dig them and I take great pleasure in nibbling off the outer, crunchier sugar and relishing the soft gummy underneath there after. And they are so cute, like those raspberries you see in little red riding hood's basket!

Besides, it totally goes with starbuck's latest toffee nut latte and folks of great taste.. if you hadn't tried it yet please do because it's so divine you'll think you're santa claus! Thank god vivo has two starbucks outlet because the place is literally bursting at its seam. And if there's one thing I hate about the mall, it has to be the perpetual deficiency of parking lots during the weekends. We had to wait for close to half an hour just to enter the carpark it's seriously crazy. Singapore is indeed densely populated so give birth to less kids! just kidding la. (in case I get sued)

And guess who I met today? DR BALA SEKARAN. I thought I was hallucinating because I was reading his physio notes and even visualising him lecturing with his greasy hair and big belly. Too bad he was so far away I didn't go up to him and present the evidence of my Dilligence. But really, what are the odds! I guess coincidence is really god's way of remaining anonymous.

On a random note, I think the limbo period before the exams really suck. Everyone gets so frazzled and stressed I honestly can't wait for it to be over and done with:(

And even more so randomly, here's me saying HI to all the overseas peeps: AARON in Canada, ALEX.C in Dublin, ALEX.N in Oxford, ADORA in Hongkong, VENE in Sydney, JOLENE in Copenhagen and JUNLING in Beijing! you lucky asses you. Must be enjoying life with all the good food and cool weather. envious!

The impending examination pressure is really stifling me and I'm still left with tonnes to memorise. But nevermind because I bought Catch-22 today and it's really neat I'm hooked on it so let me read a little more now since I need to devour some good english writings before my brain mutates into a rusty tin can.

Goodnight!

Sundays are violet.

Of the Importance of Being Idle

2008-11-08T09:17:00.006+08:00

I lost my faith in the summer time'
Cause it don't stop raining
The sky all day is as black as night
But I'm not complaining

And I don't mind

As long as there's a bed beneath the stars that shine

Oasis fever y'all! swoons..

Alright back to reality. so yes I am yet again on the brink of academic insanity because I simply cannot focus and my mind keeps straying to the moon to the sun to the cockroach in the dump, but not a single time on the books.

And WHAAAAAAAAAT?? Is that my face that Victoria posh is holding dearly onto?! oh dear the secret is out. It's her newly developed cutie.pie.1987 fragrance on a piece of paper yo!

wait why does it look like a funeral shot:(

And WHAAAAAAAAAAT??! are my eyes playing tricks on me? Is that really me on the cover of Pasir ris Hilton's new single? hit me baby one more time! blingblingniggayoyoyo.

wait why is my face cut off now:(:(

is that it? is that it??

NOOO! because look who's on the front page of Vogue...

It's MR OCTO~~BER~~PUS!

just.look.at.that.O

(sorry damai, but I REALLY had to post it up hahahaha)

wah hot ang moh girl reading it okay. WAIT I bet she's just reading the horoscope la.

And Friendster never pay their bills is it. WHY IS THE HOROSCOPE APPLICATION GONE?! I need my daily fix of commercial make-believe prophecy so I can at least feel better if things go awry later in the day because I knew it beforehand (or so I thought) boo why must it pull a bermuda triangle on me.

That day we were playing "If I were.." and I went like, if I were a pimple cream, I would be... oxycover.

Looking back, I feel damn retarded now. I mean, PIMPLE CREAM?? what the heck was I thinking. But then again, essentially-speaking, I really hope I can turn into that now because if so, I will possess the ability to hide away the ugly and pretend it's all pretty.

okay this is a senseless entry and you just wasted 67 seconds of your life reading the alphabets on this page. back to the notes.

omg did I just feel a massive headache somebody call the ambulance now! that's 4 more seconds.

okay breakfast. bye!

Saturdays are indigo

Of Fries, Sundaes, and a Huge Pimple

2008-11-05T04:37:00.008+08:00

oh ma ma, it's obama!

(say it quickly for 5 times)

okay okay so Obama won, and please stop calling him the first "black president", because I mean, he's as white as he is, black, or he is possibly more white, so stop sensationalizing things. I guess I was subconsciously rooting for Obama in one way or another, but the picture below makes me feel sad for Mccain. Look at those eyes of disappointment. Sorry I had to use the picture in that context but I'm really not being sarcastic, I do feel sad for him cause he looks uncanningly like my dead gramps:(
(save the colour of his hair)

but nevermind. because PETROL PRICES DROPPED AGAIN! wooweeyipeeyay I can drive myself to the end of little singapore and back as many times as I like! I hate chicken rice. and the yellow clown who invented hot fudge sundae and grilled chicken foldover which although taste yummy, they do nothing but serve up an artherosclerosis. okay super random but it's my blog so I can say whatever I want hahaha.

And is it not obvious that people always blog incessantly during the exam period because they tend to do anything, everything, but study. sigh I hope all my lecture notes turn into dollar notes too.

I miss playing floorball suddenly.

and I just remembered that Jill ban us from unhealthy food. opps. see la you stupid clown with ugly red boots all your fault.
burn down all your outlets.

Wednesdays are yellow.

Of Rainy Days and Emo Songs

2008-11-04T16:19:00.006+08:00

I'm high on Oasis' new album and this is my favourite track!

Here's a song

It reminds me of when we were young

Looking back at all the things we've done

You gotta keep on keepin' on

Out to sea

Is the only place I am asleep

Can't get myself some piece of mind

You know it's getting hard to fly

If I'm to fall

Would you be there to applaud

Or would you hide behind them all?

Because If I am to go

In my heart you grow

And that's where you belong

Yes I'm out of time

I'm out of time

tanMM and chuaPP go listen to the album because I know you'll be stoked on some of the songs! Then again it still cannot beat Don't Believe The Truth and also this time round, the album is strangely Beatles and mischeiveously retro? figures.

In other news, Snow Patrol's A Hundred Million Suns is out too and I say hurray to good songs so keep them coming! whoever cares about jay chou. blah. hahahahaha peace please, peace!

okay back to textual intercourse. GROANS.

Tuesdays are orange.

Of a Shock of the Lightning

2008-11-02T04:23:00.035+08:00

First up. I know it won't backfire. Next up. If there is a name to today, it would undoubtedly be called DISASTER DAY.

I thought I've got it, but no I always end up losing it. Like my physio and psycho subject combi is a terrible, terrible academic choice I swear I really can't finish everything on time.

I thought I turned on the switch for my laptop but it was the iron's switch and it burnt my brother's jeans for two whole hours.
I am not going home until after the exams.

I thought Starbucks was Coffeebean and I ordered eggs ben.

I thought I was smsing the correct Jill until I saw the reply; "wah how come you end so early?? My paper ends on the 24th lah!"

I thought the person infront of me was the stall helper so I said "uncle wanton mee no chilli please". He was just a guy waiting for his takeaway.

I thought floorball girls are mild, gentle, pretty, caring, loving, kind and everything nice. and doesn't form alliances on fb.
IT TURNED OUT THE EXACT OPPOSITEEE.

And for the last few days, I really thought that I've wronged you.
but after reading that.. I guess I thought wrong.

If your intention was to shoot an arrow through me... bulls eye.

Sundays are violet.