As a sequel to my previous thought on how growing up and growing old has made me relook my life, I came to realise how layered people has become, how stratified one's speech is and how much of a palimpsest an individual is with each year forgotten.I guess we all tend to remember too much and forget too little. But subconsciously with time, we find ourselves begining to lose track of all the losses and heartaches we never knew existed. Yet it all remains somehow an ever living memory in some place, something or some part of you and awaits you stumbling back upon it only to be amazed by how easy it is to feel the very nuances of that moment.
We tend to lock people up in songs, in places, in scents, in cards, in letters, in gestures, in parentheses and embed them too deep never realising how irrevocable it all is. Like energy, memories cannot be destroyed.. they can only be created. So relish and live in those moment before you find youself drenched in regret as the moments imprint themselves as memories of the past.
On a related note, although we have officially taken the last exam for our academic career, it doesn't mean that we will abandon the bonds fostered. They say, love those people who saw you when you were invisble. I cannot agree more on that and for the past three years..
these are who I meant!
And here's especially to the sunshines who were there throughout the arduous cramping period, in one way or another.
:):):)ps to those still having papers: all the best! I will secretly pray for you all so call me out when you are done. byebyebutterflies!
pps to self: turn body clock back!! this is bad:/
Fridays are blue
Painted her rainbow at;
5:39 AM
Pots of gold found: 1
edit:
...this would be my cardboard:)
-
Would kill for that now.
You know I was just thinking that in the event where I go bonkers while studying and my brain exploded into smitterens with accompaying projectile jucies.. I can always fail the paper and join one of them in their creative profession.
And my personal favorite goes to..
Okay la dear god I was really kidding about failing the paper. Please don't make it come true I promise I will thrive to be a better citizen. By that, I mean not making jokes about your drawers and also by being nicer to my whatever brother.
And because it's monday, the day tends to rub off the blues. Like you know the thing about growing up? It's how disconcerting to feel like you know too much only to realise the next instant how little you actually do. It is a constant struggle to avoid sinking, the endless battle to stay afloat in the sea of continuous uncertainty. fwah very deep cannot stand myself so it means time to take a mini nap and listen to Owl City (which happens to be my current earband after Coldplay and Oasis). w00ts.
And to the you who would not think it's you but it's really you:
Mondays are red
Painted her rainbow at;
3:47 PM
Pots of gold found: 7
hahahahahaha okay pass.-
Okay so I am determined to have a blast after the paper because right now I am feeling so miserable I can take the colour and vibrance off any living or non-living things. And you know I am depressed because..I am still stuck at chapter 2
I am getting very paranoid
so here's a pretty picture to ward off all the evil monsters because it's firday the 13th! gosh. And if you're reading this now... it means you're not studying too! nyeh nyeh nyeh.
BED TIME! don't comment on the pretty part kthxbye
Thursdays are green
Painted her rainbow at;
4:09 AM
Pots of gold found: 15
rar. “I love that you get cold when it's seventy degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.”
'speed-accuracy tradeoff'
...and LKK IMY. to the end of timbatuk and back:)
Fridays are blue
Painted her rainbow at;
3:09 AM
Pots of gold found: 0
"We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later."
-Summer, 500 days.
So I finally got the time to catch the much-acclaimed show last night. I think most of summer's dialouges seriously resonates? speechless.
But yes I like how realistic the show is and that it is really not a love story, but a story about love. I also like how the show sheds light on the brutality of love instead of the normal happily ever after endings. And the show is not exactly that mainstream because it protrays the male as the sensitive and emotional one and the female on the other hand, is someone who is indifferent, mean, and unpredictable. She is the epitome of an object of desire AND a subject of fear. ossum possum!
I guess what's particularly noteworthy is perhaps how the show amplifies the 'more than friends, less than lovers' theory but brings us back to sqaure one at the end of the show. What with all the ready-to-be-friends talk when both characters know their relationship is apparently beyond platonic. The possible rekindling scenes where they met, flirt, sparks flew, hands meets heart and everyone thinks they are prolly gonna get back again? But no those are fleeting and if you don't already know...
happiness is fleeting.
word.
I especially love how the show expertly blends bliss and blues as well as expectations and reality. The ending is way too cute too! Watch it if you haven't; it's a pure blast of romantic oxygen.
And I just had to end all the gushing off with this..
Tom: So.. where are we going?
Summer: I thought we said to the movies.
Tom: I meant, us. What are we?
Summer: Who cares? It's not important. Are you happy?
Tom: Yes...
Summer: Yes! THAT'S important. I'm happy.
okay and surprise surprise. Two more week to exams and like similar poles on a magnet, the notes and I seem to repel each other. SIGH. Need to start studying intensively because I really have zero idea what Randall, Mosston or Goldberger is talking about. Or who they are. Maybe except for Mosston because I attended his class reunion. ha ha.
STUDY STUDY STUDY! and starbucks.. I will see you really soon.
Sundays are violet
Painted her rainbow at;
3:21 PM
Pots of gold found: 5
"I wish someone would tell me something incredibly profound. I wish my heart would beat beat beat in time with theirs and things I want to say wouldn’t get caught in my throat like my hair gets caught in my fingers and ties itself into knots. I wish the voice in my head didn’t say the things it does, because of all the people I can trust in the world I shouldn’t be one of them."
Like an old friend paying a visit, this feeling creeps up to envelop me in an embrace. Don't expect a return.
And you know yesterday was one of those days- where you wake up and pull the curtains apart and the sky seems a darker shade of grey; where your feet lose their spring and shuffle about miserably as you go about. Even the ferrero rocher I had on the way back from seven eleven tasted like cardboard, and that's when I knew I was having A Bad Day.
Anything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong. Life was indeed out to kick my ass but well that was yesterday and besides, all it takes to right every wrong was just a phone call at the end of the day so yup TGIY!
On a random note, if your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another, before we do anything, we should first decide whether we have a better head or a better heart. I think I had it figured out and I guess the end of something good is really the start of something better. I know it because this time.. it's different.
I like my boring old fart. very much. yes? :)
Fridays are blue
Painted her rainbow at;
12:43 PM
Pots of gold found: 3
edit:
"I’m sure many people have asked this before, but what exactly is love? I always feel like I’ll never know when I am in love."
"You will know when you are in love. You may be kind of confused at first, but as time goes on you’ll know. When you’re in love, you’ll always have that person on your mind. They’ll be in your dreams. They’ll be your favorite thing to talk about. You won’t want to do anything else but spend time with them. You'll feel warm and fuzzy with them. You’ll look forward to seeing them, and then when you do, you’ll get all these weird feelings in your stomach. It’ll feel so weird but yet comfortable at the same time. Unexplainable, and that’s what love is about."
food for thought:)
-
so many things so little time!
I feel damn stressed suddenly I think I should take a chill pill asap because number one, it's bad for my skin and number two, I feel (rather) mental. Need to remind myself to take deep breaths. I am also kinda stressing out because I have an assignment due next monday, on top of which I have two other assignments + one more field trip so if my calculations are correct, I am going to die next week. *hyperventilate
THERE IS TIME. THERE IS TIME. I CAN DO IT.
peeps, don't try this at home. Procastination kills! So yup I will start my work tomorrow. hahahaha tell me about the irony.
On a side note, I read this off somewhere today and I think it makes ultimate sense. "Be with that someone who knows what they have when they have you." Think about it!
And oh I can't believe the number's forty-three too?
There goes my fantasy... poofs.
Saturdays are indigo
Painted her rainbow at;
3:01 PM
Pots of gold found: 3
Hey wait, joking right?
You mean people are allowed to keep Capybaras as pets? That is so unfair. I want a capybara too!
(just kidding. capybaras are fundamentally-speaking... pigs)
And I really dislike being in a shopping mall with the dinner crowd because aside from having to gasp for oxygen like a dying fish, the surrounding literally smells like a cesspit. The number of individuals harboring fatality-inducing stench is significantly above national average. I think we need a deodorant usage campaign. PRONTO. What is with all the free condoms they surreptitiously slip into goody bags at every event? I say, nivea body spray or even baygone will do. Like maybe the amount of body odor is inversely proportional to amount of friends you have? Therefore, stay clean everyone. pun.
Okay so I don't know what the future holds, I will never get to know what the future holds but for now, all I know is..
Painted her rainbow at;
1:21 AM
Pots of gold found: 6
"I spend 23 hours a day wondering whether we’re wrong for each other, wondering whether we’ve got the energy that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into, whether the baggage we both bring would sink a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize I’ve been thinking about you for 23 hours and I come back to there’s something about you I can’t stay away from. Something about you that makes me want you."
and.. I will always walk beside you.
Fridays are blue
Painted her rainbow at;
8:57 AM
Pots of gold found: 5
edit:
“Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.” -Good Will Hunting
everyone, say awwwwwwww..
-
Funny how whilst out and about today all I could do was lament the unforgiving seasonal heat pressing in from all sides only to walk out of the room with raindrops falling on the head. Talk about the binary nature of rain. Unpredictable, and very much like someone I cannot put a finger to, until now.
And as I sit down infront of the plastic screen today, I realised that my words fail me miserably and I've lost the ability to translate my thoughts into statements. Nonetheless I know from last week that sometimes all you need is a bottle of corona and a friend beneath the stars that shine:)
Should I stay or should I go.
Thursdays are green
Painted her rainbow at;
2:55 PM
Pots of gold found: 5
Painted her rainbow at;
2:37 PM
Pots of gold found: 2
Nights are unbearably paused and thoughts in still air are so mammoth in size they have been exhausting me the entire day. Fatigued by the marathon of running through my actions, judgments and emotions ad nauseam just so I can rationalize how I feel and affirm the fact that I am not some crazy emotional person who has not grown out of her insecurities.
Rather upset by the yellow-white discovery though:(:(
On a lighter note, the mother of two (turtles) have finally decided to do something noble for them.. cleaning up the tank. zomg I swear they really did drill in some kinda animal responsbility in me, subconsiously. And excuse me where is Mr fireman!
So anyway my mom totally did a bimbs today.
Mom: Need to call plumber. Pass me that yellow pages.
Me: HUH?? That's my textbook.
Okay please do not tell me it runs in the family because it SO doesn't. well maybe except for the george wellington episode. HAHAHAHA epic. Alright and I shall end off this entry with something philo that I read vaguely somewhere;
I.. cannot agree more.
Sundays are violet
Painted her rainbow at;
2:33 AM
Pots of gold found: 3
edit:
PE teacher: Okay take the frisbee.
PE kid: Yes Sir!
PE teacher: Now flick it and throw!
PE kid: Yes Sir!
PE teacher: Hello this is not military, you don't have to answer Yes sir.
PE kid: ... Yes sir!
HAHAHAHHAA I think it's pretty damn amusing.
-
Can't sleep when I think incessantly. Too many questions, too little time. I guess I need to feel more than what I am able to just so I can be alive. I dislike living the perfunctory and upholding the restrictions it places on us because uniformity and rules bore me senseless. Straight lines that lead to nowhere but a known destination. I don't want to know what will be the first thing I see in the morning.To read between the lines of Songs and to see your name written in bold.. mission (really) impossible. Sigh.
Painted her rainbow at;
2:57 AM
Pots of gold found: 2
ZOMG GUESS WHOSE BLOG I'VE FOUND!!
"Anyway, I have been travelling a lot to the west side of the island recently, cos I'm now coaching NTU. Having been with NUS floorball for more than 7 years, I was quite excited and really looking forward to the unfamiliar training environment. Indeed, the culture is so much different, as I have anticipated.
Nevertheless, I still enjoy every bit of the culture change - I enjoy travelling on the double-decked 179 buses, even if it's late at night; I like the aroma from the nearby cocoa factory once I step out of the train, even though it might be unbearable at times; I like being in that conference room and just keep talking, even though it's stinky and dusty and pathetically small; I enjoy looking down to the court from the stands above, although it's just training going on.
I think things are a lot simpler and more straight-forward in this environment, thus making life a lot less difficult for everyone. Well right now everyone is still not warmed-up to everyone yet.
But when this time comes, I believe beautiful sparks will be created."
-A.
awww.. don't you just wanna hug him now? sweeeeets!
I think he's gonna rock our smelly socks big time. So let's train hard, train smart, don't break his heart! NTU............ tewtew:)
(but I still hate the cocoa smell)
Saturdays are indigo
Painted her rainbow at;
5:43 AM
Pots of gold found: 5
"I asked you to hang out. You asked me what I wanted to do and I said I didn't know. Truth is that you could throw rocks at my head and I'd just be happy to be in your presence."Thursdays are green
Painted her rainbow at;
6:11 PM
Pots of gold found: 4
